Stumbo Family Story -Adoption Story

Nina's First Anniversary

2011-01-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

On January 1st of last year Nina joined her place in our family, it was the first time that all 5 of us were together. Ellie was so excited to meet Nina, she could not believe that she was real and not just a girl on a picture or someone she had seen through a computer screen. Nichole was not sure of the new little girl that was hanging around. Andy and I were just happy to be together after the long emotional process of adoption. And Nina, she was scared, she was so scared. She did not know what it meant to be have a family, she did not understand our speech, our ways, and the details of our world.

When Nina arrived, she was behind Nichole in development in all aspects except her ability to talk, and unfortunately, our languages were different. She was 3 1/2 years old, but her development seemed to be that of a typical 18 month old. In amazement, we watched her go through baby stages and quickly move on to a toddler stage, and now a little girl. Although she is still not your typical 4 1/2 year old, the difference in this little girl is astounding!

Those first few months were hard. They were really hard. For Nina, for Ellie and Nichole, for us as parents, but especially for me. My love, patience, compassion, and gratitude were tested every day, and I failed many times. I felt like a failure as a mother, not being able to love and help Nina as I had hoped to do. Over time, as we began to know each other, we began to refer to Nina as our "Fiery Furnace" for God was using her to stretch us and teach us about His heart and His unconditional love.

As Nina's speech developed and we began to be able to communicate, Nina was able to share with us about her life as an orphan, and about the things that she feared and the life that she lived. She was able to tell us about her excitement over having a family, and we would hear her saying, "Nina, happy girl!" We were able to get to know one another better, and to learn to fall in love with one another.

We have asked ourselves, "Where would Nina be if we had not adopted her?" "What would her future been like if she had grown up in her country?" What a different life she would have had, with little hope and no future. But what about us? Where would we be if we had not adopted Nina? Sure, life would be easier, a lot easier. But what about us? What about our hearts? What about our ability to love? What about being conformed to be more like Christ? As much as we saved her, she has been a tool of transformation in our lives. She has expanded our hearts, and she has brought us great joy.

If you were to meet Nina today, you would be amazed at the fact that she has been with us for only a year. Her speech really is phenomenal, and she is a charmer. She thrives in praises and affirmation. Her little heart's desire is to make us laugh and to hear us call her beautiful. She is unusually good at sharing and she wants to help any way she can. Which as you can imagine, makes it easy to want to love her. She loves hugs and kisses, and to be cuddled.

It still amazes me to think that there was a child of God forgotten at an orphanage, sentenced by her disability, and out of all people, God chose us to be her parents, not her biological mother, and not another adoptive family, but us. He did not bring her to us through birth, but He grew her in our hearts. Half-way across the world He called to us, "Will you love one of mine? One that has been discarded? A daughter that I deeply love?" We responded to God's call, and what a blessing this journey has been for all of us! And although it has been hard, we would do it again, and again.

What a wonderfully testing year it has been, how we have been transformed, and how we have been falling in love. We treasure our Ukrainian princess, and we could not do life without her. She belongs with us, she is our daughter.

Deprived Indifference

2010-12-02T19:25:00.000-08:00

This is why we adopted. It does not mean that adoption is easy, that it is a fairytale, but it is worth it!

What Adoption Does Not Do

2010-08-26T19:51:00.001-07:00

A good friend of mine recently sent me this link to the site Together For Adoption. It was written by Johny Carr, the national Director for Church Partnerships for Bethany Christian Services.

If you are adopting, have adopted, or know someone who has adopted, this is a great read.

In the adoption world, many times you will hear that a child's adoption, is much like our adoption into God's family. It is a good analogy, but we need to be careful with the theology behind. You can read the entire blog by clicking here.

This is an excerpt.

What Adoption Does Not Do

BY JOHNNY CARRPublished Aug 25, 2010

I love to tell our adoption story when I preach. During the sermon, I show pictures taken within the first few hours of James meeting us. One shows me and James laughing heartily together. Another shows him taking a nap with his new mom. One shows him and his new brother wrestling on the bed, while another has him walking hand-in-hand with his new older brother and sister. We had much the same experience with our daughter Xiaoli’s adoption.

However, what the pictures do not show is the hurt, confusion, and emotional stress our adopted children endured. James was four years old when we adopted him, and Xiaoli was six. They were both old enough to understand that something major was happening but, since they are deaf, they had no way to understand adoption.

Even for the children who do have language, how do you describe adoption? How do you fight the rumors that circulate in the orphanages about what happens to adopted children? How do you prepare them for a family who might not look like them, smell like them, act like them, or use the same language? Every adoption story is accompanied by a story of grief and loss.

When we are adopted into God’s family, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in us. This is where the one-to-one relationship breaks down. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to know the mind of Christ through our salvation (1 Cor. 2:10-16). We are made into a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). When children are adopted, they receive a new family and the prospect for a new life, but they are not a new creation.

Adoption does not heal a child’s past. People often say that my adopted children are “lucky” to have been adopted. I know what they are trying to communicate, but they are not grasping the totality of what my children have lived through.

Recently I read an article by Catherine Olian, writer and former producer of 60 Minutes. This is part of what she wrote about her daughter who was adopted from Ukraine:

Outside our home, she behaved herself and charmed most everyone. She did take exception when adults told her she was “lucky”. In her blossoming English she would unhesitatingly respond, “Did you lose your first brother and sister? Did you grow up cold and hungry? Did you live two lives, in two different countries? No? Then you must be the lucky one.” I’ve yet to see anyone disagree with her.

As this incredible wave of orphan care and adoption ministry continues to gain momentum in churches, we must make sure that we have a good theological understanding of adoption and a good practical understanding of adoption.

While I will continue to show the sweet pictures of our adoption journeys during my sermons, I will also take the time to educate families about the grief and loss that is always part of adoption. Healing can take place, and for many children, it starts with adoption…but it doesn’t end there—it never does.

Adoption: Love Grows

2010-06-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

In February I wrote a post about adoption and falling in love. Loving Nina has not been the same as loving Ellie or Nichole. There is so much about Nina that we don't know, whereas there is not a thing about Ellie or Nichole that is a secret to us. We have always been there.

Nina has been with us for five months, but Nina and I go back before arriving home. We shared two weeks together as we were finalizing the adoption in Ukraine. One would think that those two weeks were wonderful as we were getting to know each other; the foundation of our relationship. Those weeks were indeed the foundation of our relationship, but they were not wonderful. Those two weeks were the toughest, most discouraging weeks in my mothering journey. Every night as I listened to 2 or 3 hours of constant crying I would think about the day, and the many ways in which I had felt rejected. I felt like a failure, a rejected failure, and we were trapped in a little apartment with no place to go.

I understand why Nina was having a hard time, but unless you have experienced this first hand, nothing can prepare you to how it feels to be rejected by the child you worked so hard and passionately to save. It doesn't matter how well you understand it in your head, the feelings will still cling heavy on your heart. Whenever there was a Russian or Ukrainian speaker around, Nina wanted nothing to do with me. The more time we had together, the more she rejected me, the more she cried for other people. Three times she asked other women to take her, that she wanted them to be their mommy and not me because she could not understand me. They were familiar, I was not. Again, although I understood her feelings, mine were crushed and I wanted to run to my girls, the ones I had not seen for seven weeks and wanted me.

Once home there was no Ukrainian or Russian around thank goodness! Many people would offer having "so and so" help us because they spoke Russian. Let me think about that for a second... No thank you!

But my relationship with Nina did not just suddenly change. When your heart has been deeply hurt, it takes time to heal. I found myself being less patient with Nina, expecting more, and getting frustrated easily. I felt guilty about that. One day as I was spending time with God, praying for my children I though about Nina. I started to cry and I went to her, held her and cried some more. I asked for her to forgive me for being impatient with her, for not being more gentle. I told her that I loved her and that she was mine. It was a beautiful moment.

Then surgery happened and Nina was thrown back into the same behaviors she was having during those 2 weeks in Ukraine. She cried constantly and would ask for the workers in her orphanage by name. She wanted nothing to do with me...once again. Emotionally I was depleted, I felt like I had nothing to give. I had just begun to get up and was knocked to the ground once more.

Then one night she woke up spitting blood and we were back for another surgery. She was air lifted and I had to drive hour and a half to get there. Even though it was hard to have them take her and for me to stay behind, I actually felt like I could take a deep breath.

As we were coming home for the second time from the hospital, I asked a nurse to be with Nina while I got our things ready to go. I wanted to cry, dreading to go home and face life with a child that would reject me once more. God knew what was needed, and He sent the Russian speaking lady. He sent her for Nina and for me, because He is a God that restores relationships, or in our case, creates new relationships.

As I look at my journey with Nina, this is the one most significant moment we have had. This was the day that Nina chose me for the first time in her life, this was the moment that Nina realized she belonged in our family, and she wanted that. Nina wanted her mommy. And although at the moment I did not realize the significance of what took place, now I see it for what it was. It was a new birth.

(And if you did not read that post, click on the previous paragraph's highlighted words or clickhere)

Adding a new family members takes time to adjust. Weather it be a baby or an older child. A family has to learn to function with more people, it is not as simple as adding one more, but the family dynamics change and everyone has to adjust.

Nina is discovering what family is, and she is blossoming in her new understanding. She cherishes it.

Somehow, Nina is not just the little girl we are trying to include, she is a part of us now. We have six months to look back, and although not long, it is a history within our family. We know her favorite color and that she loves balloons. Although much of life is new to her, she finds comfort in us.

Before we met Nina, we had created a character of who we imagined her to be, one that pushed us to get her home. The love I have for Nina today, would have pushed me so much harder, because it is a love that has cost many tears, and therefore, great joy as it has grown.

Yes, she is my daughter, not born from my womb but from my heart. The love I felt for Ellie and Nichole as they were born is the love that has been born from me towards Nina. She is a without a doubt a"new baby" to me, to my heart.

She is mine.

We Couldn't Be There

2010-04-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

We are not sure how much Nina understands the English language. Sometimes it seems like she has a great grasp, while other times we wonder if she understands what we are asking or saying to her.

We are still puzzled by her behaviors at times. What seems a normal situation, can send her into her own world, where she can easily be irritated or upset. This times are hard for all of us emotionally. It makes us wonder what exactly took place at the orphanage, and what her life was like.

I shared in a previous post, that the first time I walked into Nina's room, they were not expecting me and I was sure that a little girl was going to be tied down to the smaller wooden pen. I saw this same little girl being smacked across the face and her ear pulled as she was dragged to a chair because she was not fast enough. never mind that she too has Cerebral palsy and could not walk. The impatience and lack of love were heart breaking. Praise God Oksana has a family waiting to go get her!

I tried to teach a worker how to feed a little boy with Down syndrome by helping support his jaw. She said she had not time for that and shoved the food into his mouth. His eyes watering and gulping, gasping for air, maybe even aspirating with every spoonful going in his mouth. He too has a family ready to come get him.

I saw other children treated harshly and being punished. And I saw more. And what I saw will forever be in my heart, and it will remind me that these children live in dark and scary places, and that those with special needs are abused even more, because it is easier to hurt those that are weaker.

Nina's recent reaction to having her braces put on, along with other behaviors, made Andy wonder if Nina had been tied to her crib as punishment. We have found out that it is not the braces that make her cry, but rather having her lay down and getting them strapped on her, the noise of the Velcro, and having something that "restricts" her body. Once she is up and walking, this is not an issue.

A friend who is also adopting from Ukraine wrote on her blog, "We showed up unannounced one day at the orphanage. All the children were in the big wooden playpen. They were all tied to the slots of the playpen so they couldn't move. No wonder they didn't want us to come in the room."

So we asked Nina today about her life at the orphanage, not sure if she understands us, not sure if she knows how to communicate with us.

"Nina?" I asked, "Were you tied down on your crib? Did you have to lie down and they would tie you?" She looked at me, a sad expression, her little lip came out, and the tears started to come, she said softly, "yes." And she cried some more. I held her so close to me, wishing I could take that away from her, wishing that somehow she had not had to go through that. Andy asked her why they did that. "Nina naughty, Nina naughty." She responded.

We were not there to protect her for the first 3 years of her life. She has gone through so much in her short life, and there is nothing we can do about it. We will never be able to take that away. We can love, and we can pray, that is what we can do.

I think of how we almost allowed money to be an issue. I think of how I almost said Cerebral palsy was too much for me to handle. Those things are so insignificant now, so small.

My heart breaks for orphans around the world. My heart breaks for my daughter. And it aches, oh how it aches, that there were times where she was tied down to a crib, treated like an animal, starved of comfort or love. Never again, never again. Our loving arms will wrap her close, and whisper how much we care.

Today I was her mother, I felt it. I will protect my sweet girl as best I can.

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You can find many waiting children with special needs on Reeces Rainbow. They all need a family, they all have suffered enough!

Adoption: Falling In Love

2010-02-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

Our dear friends, the McLelands, adopted a baby girl not even a year ago. Bill said to us shortly after they had gotten her home, “I didn’t know if it would be possible to love an adopted child as much as your biological children, but we love this baby girl, it makes no difference how she came into our family, we love her just the same.”

“You love them just the same.”

“I bet she fits perfectly in your family.”

“It must feel like she has always been a part of your family.”

Often, when I hear statements like these I think about McLelands, knowing they can wholeheartedly agree. But when those statements are said to me, I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I know the right thing to say is “yes.” It makes me wonder if adopting an infant is different from adopting an older child because I am still in the process of getting there, I have yet to arrive.

I love Nina. There is no doubt about it, but I cannot say that my love for her is the same as it is for Ellie and Nichole. When the girls fight, my first instinct is to side with Ellie and Nichole, or to comfort them first. I find myself being less patient with Nina, or feeling annoyed when she wants to join in if I try to have one-on-one time with one of the other girls. At times, it even feels like I am babysitting some else’s child.

The truth is, adopting an older child for us was not love at first sight, but rather, a journey of falling in love.

For almost 4 years, we lived without Nina, and she lived without us. We have come together, all of us, with our past. We have different languages, different cultures, different rules. We are just getting to know each other. At times I am sure she is confused, and she does not understand what is happening in her new world. At times I am confused and I do not understand why she acts a certain way. Our communication is broken in many ways as we try to understand each other. Nina is learning what it is like to have a mommy and a daddy and sisters. She is just discovering that we really are her promise of forever; we will never walk away from her, never. She is learning to trust.

Adoption is a journey of falling in love, for all of us. A journey with highs and lows as we walk along the path. And we are falling in love.

Nina smiles, she gives us hugs, she signs “I love you,” and says “I lou wu” She makes silly faces and thrives in our praises.

Nina is a precious little girl. She is sweet and charming. She has brought so much joy into our lives and she has shown us much about God’s heart as Heavenly Father. Our family needed Nina, in more ways that we will ever understand.

And we are, we are falling in love, madly in love with this little girl.

Adoption: When You Meet The Child You Have Been Dreaming About

2010-02-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

The anticipation was overwhelming. I thought the moment I finally laid eyes on Nina would be one of those moments that you never forget, one of those moments that are etched in your heart forever and become one of the most joyous and sweet memories of my life. I wondered if I would cry that first time and if she would feel the same bond I already felt. Would she be able to sense all the love I had for her?

Although we were able to move through the adoption process quickly, the waiting seemed too long, and our desire for Nina to be a part of our family grew stronger and stronger as the days went by. My love for her was so intense that it pushed me to get things done and to be relentless when it came to the paperwork nightmare. I cried many tears in frustration but I would do whatever I had to do to get my daughter home and out of the orphanage.

Someone said to me along this process, “You love them just the same as if they were your own.” When I heard that statement, I could not have agreed more.

The day we walked into the orphanage for the first time my stomach was in knots. I did not know what to expect but we were so excited to see our beautiful girl.

Workers came in and out of the room we were sitting at. It took me a while to realize that the little girl that one of the workers held in her arms was Nina. I had seen them walk in the room and had even made eye contact with her, but I did not recognize her. All I saw was an orphan with a misshapen head and lost eyes.

“That’s Nina” I said to Andy

“I know” he replied

We both saw her, we both stared, we both held our breaths. We did not have to say it, because both of us were shocked at her appearance and demeanor. She looked different than the pictures we had seen.

Reality stepped in, it sat next to me, and it held my hand.

The worker sat next to us with Nina in her arms. Andy and I tried to interact with her, but she seemed so lost. They told us she was nervous and that she was acting shy. They assured us that she was smart and outgoing. But regardless of what they said, what we saw was much different. We saw a girl with vacant eyes and what appeared to be a great cognitive delay. Her behavior made me question if she had autism as well. The most interaction we got with her was when I showed her my camera, and she offered a lost smile. (You can watch that video here)

Back in our apartment in Kyiv, Reality accompanied us. Andy and I questioned if we were making the right choice. The child that we had met seemed to have many special needs that would require work and attention. Was it fair to Ellie and Nichole? How would they be impacted by having such a low functioning sister?

Most of all, Reality explained to us that we never had loved Nina at all. What we had come to love so strongly was the “idea” of who Nina was. The Nina we had created in our hearts and minds had pushed us to come this far. Without her, we wouldn’t be there. But that Nina had to go, because the real Nina waited for us.

Fear then knocked on the door. We cracked the door open a little and asked questions, because Fear was right, we knew so little about Nina, and so little about the future. We had no idea what life would be like with Nina in our family, and we had no way to predict how she would affect her sister’s lives. But before Fear could come into our apartment we were reminded of this: “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.”

We thanked Fear for coming, for making us think, and we closed the door.

God had been in the adoption process all along. He had showed us His love and mercy in ways we had never seen or experienced before. The ways He had chosen to show Himself to us were a clear indication that this was what He wanted us to do. We were scared, and we often thought of Fear, but we had a promise. The promise that God would walk with us every step of the way.

Over the next weeks we would have to get to know this little orphan girl, one that would soon become our daughter. We had to learn to love the real Nina, the one who so desperately needed us, the one that we had come to save.

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Andy wrote about the same in his annual report, to read his perspective, click here.

It has been a month

2010-01-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

I have had Nina with me for a month (yesterday). Time went by so quickly, yet, our time in Ukraine is still tainted with raw feelings of the emotional hardships. It feels like our life together really started when we got home. We have had 2 wonderful weeks as a family!

Please understand, my time with Nina when it was just the 2 of us was great, but the emotional journey that the rest of our family took during that time was very hard. Being in an unfamiliar place where people spoke Nina's language which made her reject me at times made it hard too. It is good to be home!

Nina is doing fantastic. She is picking up on English quickly and she is showing us more and more of who she is. She has many words and is even starting to put 2 word sentences together with the words that she knows. Things like "Nina eat" "sit here" "follow me" "no touch" "I try" etc.

Two days ago she really got interested in using her walker and she is doing fantastic with it. She finds great joy in her accomplishment and thrives in Andy and I encouraging her and delighting in her. Even while Nichole follows her around trying to take the walker while saying, "Mine!"

Being delighted in. What a wonderful feeling for Nina, there are people in her life that delight in her. She is loved, she is wanted, she is celebrated. Just like her sisters.

Becoming a Family

2010-01-10T19:59:00.001-08:00

It has been only a little over a week since Nina and I got back home. I will honestly say that it is nice to be away from Russian speaking people. Nina showed a marked preference for those she understood and it is important for her to be attached to us, we are her family. I know she gets frustrated with the language barrier, but at the same time, she is picking up on English quickly.

Some of her phrases in English are, "Oh goodness!" "No touch," "It's okay" "I know" "Nina play" "Baby Signing Time" "I love you"

And she has many words.

Nina no longer cries or screams at night. She has found great comfort in the fact that Nichole is right there in the room with her in a crib next to hers. It is what Nina was used to. Nichole is having more of an adjustment as Nichole talks and talks to Nina until they both fall asleep. Tonight, Nina gave us kisses and she waved "paka" at Andy and I as we laid the girls down to sleep.

When we were in Ukraine, Nina did not want much to do with Andy. She was okay playing with him and sitting next to him, but touching or holding were very hard for her. As soon as we got home and Nina saw her sisters love on their daddy, and their daddy love on them, she decided to give Andy a try. So after one day, she became a daddy's little girl.

That first day together (January 1st) Andy rolled on the floor with the girls, Nina joining in the fun and tickles. Andy and I looked at each other for a moment. Understanding in our eyes, our hearts full. This is what we had been dreaming for, this is what we wanted to do for this once orphan girl, now our daughter.

There has been adjustment at home. Some very good and some hard. The 3 girls are getting to know each other and they have good moments and not so good. Nina is not very affectionate (due to the orphanage) and has a hard time accepting physical love especially from Ellie. I am sure she never received any form the other kids. Ellie has a very hard time being rejected, pushed, hit, or hair pulled by Nina. Nichole is jealous and yet Nina seems to follow Nichole quite a bit, she likes her very much. They are at about the same developmental stage. Nichole is more advanced except for speech, so they play well (next to each other) but Nina is quickly catching up as she learns and explores the world every day.

Andy and I feel exhausted by the end of the day, but we seem to be more disciplined in some areas (because we have to!) However, if you feel like helping us clean our house, you are welcome! The pile of dishes is high and the bathrooms and floors need some cleaning :)

So finally, here are some pictures of our family! (Mainly the 3 girls)

The Journey Home: Reunited

2010-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

As soon as we landed I tried to call Andy but I was getting his voice mail right away. I called my sister and told her we were home, my voice cracking with emotion.

Nina was sleeping and I decided I would just cover her with my winter coat, I did not want to wake her up getting her own winter gear on. I carefully laid her down in the wheelchair and she was able to sleep as we raced through the halls.

As we approached entered the elevator that would take us to the baggage claim, more tears made their way down my cheeks. I would see my family soon.

As we walked out the sliding doors I frantically started searching for Andy and my family. I saw him standing across the baggage claim carousel with my friend Leah, both of them trying to find me.

I did not care if I made a scene, I yelled, "Honey!" "Andy!" He turned and saw me waving like a fool. I looked over at the nice man pushing Nina and motioned for him to follow me. I ran. So did Ellie, straight into my arms!

"Mommy" she said in her sweet voice. "Why are you crying."

"Because I missed you so much sweetie!"

And we hugged some more.

Then I saw my husband, oh how I love him and how I missed him. We hugged and cried into each other's arms. Nichole slept on his chest.

After a while Ellie asked where Nina was. I told her she was in the wheelchair, underneath my coat. Ellie lifted it gently and looked at Nina.

"Oh She is so cute!" she said. "Oh Nina! You are real!"

Yes, Nina was real. She really had a sister. And in no time Ellie woke her up.

Andy's sister and her husband (Amy and Ben) were there too. And Ellie told Amy that Nina was really real.

My dad and sisters were there, and so was my mom and her friend.

We were finally together.

The long journey home had brought us there, to the airport. Such a magnitude of emotions rushing in. if only those watching knew what was taking place. But we knew, and that was all that mattered.

We are home!

And thanks to my friend Leah here are some pictures of our reunion.

The Journey Home: Frankfurt, Chicago, and Minnesota

2010-01-05T12:42:00.000-08:00

We landed in Frankfurt. The plane burst into applause. If only the pilot knew our stories, he would know that in fact, this was cause for celebration.

Next to me in the plane sat a Ukranian lady who lived in the United States. Both, her Ukranian and her English were perfect, and she helped me so much with Nina too. As we made our way out of the plane, my two angels waited for me to help. We found a wheelchair and got Nina situated as we made our way to the Lufthansa booth to arrange our next flights.

As we got there, my angels made sure to tell the Lufthansa workers that I had a child with a disability and that I needed help. A woman quickly came and got me to a waiting area. She took my previous flight itinerary and our passports and promised to get back to us with our new flights. We did not have to wait in line. It was a huge blessing, however, it left me unable to talk through options with an agent.

A few minutes later a nice lady came and asked me to follow her to a small room. As we entered she explained to me that there were no more flights to America that night, and we would have to spend the night in Frankfurt, which meant Nina needed a visa for the night. I then asked what time our flight would leave. 2:10 pm she said.

I looked at her, tears threatening to come out. I tried to push them back but they burst out, fast. They exploded. In a matter of seconds I was sobbing loudly and there was the nice Lufthansa lady along with the Visa employees dumbfounded at the crazy woman's reaction. All along I was trying to say "I am sorry" for such an outburst.

When I settled down, the nice Lufthansa lady asked, "I am sorry, but why is this so upsetting to you?" Oh I don't blame her! I would wonder that too if a stranger had such a meltdown in front of me. So I explained to her that we had been stuck in an airport for 2 days, that I had been gone from my family for 45 days, and that I had hoped to get on their 8:30 am plane, or at least keep my original flight at 10:30 am.

She was a compassionate woman, and she empathized with me. Somehow she understood that this was hard. So looked at other options and came back saying she was sorry, it was all they had and I was lucky I could get in a flight the next day. They had even had to switch airlines for us to go back home. She had arranged a hotel stay for us with our dinner and breakfast taken care of. She had even brought an overnight bag for me. I asked about my luggage, she said I did not have to worry, she would take care of that. And they drove Nina and I to our hotel.

We ate.

We slept.

The next morning we woke up and got ready, had breakfast and headed to our ticket booth. The man behind the desk spoke Spanish and thought it would be fun to practice his Spanish with me. He then informed me we were only on stand by, we did not have set tickets. "I have been gone 46 days away from my family, please. Can I pay more for a ticket?" He smiled. "I am working the gates, so I get to make those decisions, don't worry, I will give you a ticket." So he got us settled and on our way home.

The flight was long. Nina did fantastic.

Chicago welcomed us with a wheelchair and with Nina becoming an American citizen. We went through shorter lines reserved for those with disabilities and were able to do all the immigration stuff in no time.

We even had time to get some french fries at Macdonald's!

We boarded the plane and were finally headed to Minnesota, to see our family!

The flight is short. By the time you are up in the sky, it feels like you are ready to land.

"Ladies and gentleman," the pilot said over the speaker phone, "We will be arriving in 19 minutes at the Minneapolis airport."

The words wrapped around me, in a friendly and welcoming hug. I again started to cry. Oh I was crying hard, shaking, trying not to wake up Nina who was sleeping in my arms.

We landed, emotion washed over me once more.

There was only one thing in my mind. Get out of the airplane as soon as possible, and run through the airport until I saw my family, hoping the wheelchair was waiting for us. It was. I told the man to run with me, and he did.

We were home! Our family waited for us somewhere in the same building. I had to run!

The Journey Home: Kiev Airport

2010-01-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning.

My alarm clock went off at 1:30 am. I got up, got dressed. I got all my bags lined up by the door and looked out side the window. It had started snowing the night before and it was still coming down. It looked beautiful. I then got Nina bundled up and went outside to get our driver who was waiting for us. We walked out of the apartment. It was 2:00 am.

The trip to the airport lasted about an hour, a few times we were stuck in the snow and there were no plows at that time at night.

3:00 am we arrived at the airport. I was not familiar with the setting and was left sitting on the stairs, with my bags and all. I was on my own and the airport slept. At 3:30 am the Lufthansa booth opened and I realized that there was a long line of people waiting. I had my suitcases, backpacks and Nina. I had to put the sling on to carry her. We stood at the end of a long line. A woman came out and made an announcement in Russian. Frustration was in the air. I asked the lady if she spoke English, she did, and I asked what she had said. Our flight had been cancelled, and that was that. I needed to stay in line and reschedule.

Nina was heavy, I was dumbfounded. I went to get a chair so I could sit down and a man told me I couldn't take the chair (2 feet from where it was) I lost it (yes, I did) I told him in English, even though I knew he couldn't understand that my child was disabled and that I was exhausted and that I was going to sit on the chair weather he wanted me to or not, all while trying not to cry too hard. I made a scene. I didn't care.

I sat on the chair and prayed for God to send me an angel, but everyone just started at the crazy American. I looked at a lady in front o me who kept glancing at us, "Please don't stare" I asked. "Sorry, I don't speak much English, but can I help you?" I talked to her a little and was able to communicate to her that Nina had CP and that our plane was cancelled. She then talked to every single person in front of us, and then came over to me and said it was my turn, I could go next. God did send me an angel.

They said my flight was cancelled but I could reschedule for the next day. I asked to be rescheduled for a different flight for that day, they agreed. I would leave at 10:00 am. Only 6 hours to go. We went to a cafeteria and sat there, our angel lady came too. She was Ukranian and spoke Ukranian. Nina attached to her quickly, and it gave me the freedom to go and arrange a wheelchair for Nina and find out more about our flight or possibilities. At 9:00 am the flight was delayed to 12:00 pm, we would not make it to our connecting flight, so I did reschedule for the next day.

I called our missionary friends and asked if we could stay with them for the night. I arrived at their house and we ate brunch. Then Nina and I slept until late, we had been at the airport for about 10 hours, we were exhausted.

Wednesday morning.

My alarm clock went off at 2:00 am. I was ready to go by 2:30. I saw our flight had been delayed until 8:45 am, however, the taxi was already there waiting. The roads looked clear so we were hopeful we would be able to fly home.

We arrived at the airport at 3:30 am, right as they opened the airport. Our angel was there, waiting for us. She had breakfast ready for Nina. She was there with a nice man from Canada. We all waited for the same flight. They both took such great care of Nina and I.

At 8:00 am they delayed our flight to 6:00 pm. The airport was still closed and they thought it would be closed until 12:00 pm. We waited and waited and waited some more. I don't know what I would have done without my angels. We shared stories and brought each other comfort.

Finally at 12:00 pm we were able to check in. The airport was open. I am not sure how long we waited inside, quite a while, but we knew that our flight would leave any time and we had to be alert to hear the new time. At around 4:00 pm we were able to board and we arrived in Frankfurt at around 6:00 pm. It was a long long day, but I was finally out of Ukraine.

I was on my way home.

In Frankfurt

2009-12-30T23:58:00.000-08:00

We are still in Frankfurt. Sorry I did not update last night. I was physically and emotionally spent, and I gladly followed the sweet voice of a bed calling to me.

In the midst of all this craziness, we at least got to sleep last night.

Our flight leaves at 2:00 pm this afternoon so 7:00 am Central Time. Pray for us, we are finally going home! We will arrive at the MN airport at 8:30 pm Central Time where we will finally get to see our family!

We will spend a couple of days at a hotel so that we can just all be together. Then we will get on a car and drive home...sweet home.

It has been such an emotional journey. Countless tears.

So continue to pray for us as we continue our trip home.

(Here in Frankfurt it is 9:00 am in the morning on December 31st. I know the time difference has been confusing, so we have been at an airport for 3 days straight now, so please pray we can finally come home!)

Waiting

2009-12-29T21:50:00.001-08:00

We are still waiting for a flight. Airport is still closed and now our flight is scheduled to leave at 6:00 pm (10:00 am central your time)

Keep us in your prayers.

We are headed home again

2009-12-29T13:49:00.000-08:00

Please pray as we hope to be able to come home today. We are getting picked up in 2 hours and our flight leaves in 5 hours.

AS you think about us tonight and tomorrow morning, will you keep us in your prayers?

Still In Kyiv

2009-12-29T00:51:00.000-08:00

We left our apartment at 2:00 am knwoing with all the snow it would take longer to get to the airport. We arrived at 3:00 am and had some time to wait until they opened at 3:30.

The first thing we heard was that our flight was cancelled due to the weather.

"We can get you in tomorrow at the same time" said the lady at the booth.

Well I was not happy to hear that, and I could not keep the tears from coming, "Please try to get me a flight home, any route is okay with me."

So they did, unfortunately, the airport was still closed. At 9:30, I realized that there was no way we would be leaving at 10:00 since the airport had not opened yet. I talked to the ladies at the booth and they said they would have me as VIP waiting on a plane ride from Kyiv to New York. Sounded great, but that meant the airport had to open (they were not sure when) and the estimated time could have been 5:00 pm. I needed to make a choice then.

I was exhausted, tired, and emotional. They were not even sure we would leave at 5:00, so I told them that yes, we would wait until tomorrow.

And so we wait another day.

I am watching the weather closely, we just want to be home!

The only prayer I have is for safety, safety as we travel as the weather is not so good here.

We did have an angels help us today. A Ukranian lady. I don't know what I would have done without her. She will be with us in our flight.

I am exhausted, I will write more later.

Taking Off

2009-12-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

We are ready to start our journey home! It is really early and the snow has not stopped here. Please pray that we have a safe trip home throughout today and tomorrow.

If I get a chance I will update at the airports, we will see.

We are so excited to be going home!

We have a Visa

2009-12-28T06:58:00.000-08:00

We have a Visa and we are headed home! Later this evening for you we will be picked up and our journey back home will begins. Our flight departs at 5:30 am our time, which means 9:30 pm your time.

45 days, I have been gone for 45 days! I cannot wait to be home, see my husband and my two beautiful princesses. This has been a hard journey, but it was worth it!

Prayer requests

-Please please please pray for a safe travel home

-Pray that Nina does well on the flight

-Pray for safe travel for Andy as he comes to pick us up at the airport

Hooray, we are almost there!

There is a Difference

2009-12-27T09:56:00.001-08:00

Today Nina and I got to go to church with our missionary friends. I had arranged for the cleaning lady to come at 11:00 so that we could be out of here by the time she showed up. Well, today she came early right as we were getting our coats on. She felt comfortable enough to not only tell me what Nina should be wearing or not wearing, but to even grab clothes for me. Finally I was able to explain that we were riding a car, not walking, this also after she told me I should have a stroller and not carry her in the sling. She is nice though, I should have thought about the fact that we won't see her again and given her a hug. We were, however, 15 minutes late.

At church Nina was very out of sorts, and once the music started she got very scared. She only wanted Kim, not even me. I am okay with that. Kim can talk to her and Kim understands her. I think Nina found great comfort in knowing that Kim could tell her what was going on and could use words she understood to comfort her. I also know that it is part of the adoption process. No, she does not have a close bond with me yet, that will come with time. On the meantime, I am happy that Kim was there for Nina.

We then ate at McDonald's and Nina got some balloons. I have been working on colors and surprised everyone by saying "yellow" while asking for the yellow balloon.

We got home and took a nap. For dinner we had our McDonald's leftovers as well as some soup.

Tomorrow we have a long and busy day. We will be picked up at 7:30 a to go apply for the Visa. We then go and have a medical done for Nina and take the results back to the Embassy. Then we go eat lunch and return to the Embassy and wait until they give us our Visa. We come home, eat some more, hopefully see our friends one more time, pack and sleep a little. Then at 2:30 am we are picked up and we start our journey back home. I hope Nina is tired and sleeps lots!

So all those are our prayer request for now. I hate flying and now with the new incident I am even more weary, so I will appreciate all your prayers for a safe travel.

Our friend Frank who was here adopting, got to meet Nina when we were going to the orphanage to visit our girls. he had just watched the last video I had here and he said that she looked like a completely different little girl than the one he saw. I have had Nina for 13 days, it is amazing what 13 days can do.

So here is a video comparison. The first one is the very first video of when we first met Nina, and the second one I quickly took while she was eating her leftovers and watching Baby Signing Time.

3 days left to go

2009-12-26T08:34:00.001-08:00

It is Saturday evening here in Kyiv. We only have 3 days to go. Early Tuesday morning we finally get to go home!

Yesterday we were not able to get Nina's medical as the place was closed due to Christmas (even though it is a Ukranian clinic) It means that on Monday we have a marathon day getting thigs ready. I think we leave at 7:30 so we can get visa applied for and medical so that we can get that visa later on Monday.

Yesterday was Christmas day, and it did not feel a lot like Christmas, but, our wonderful friends that are here as missionaries invited us over and let me tell you, the food was delicious! They have become dear friends and I think we will always be so thankful to them. They have been wonderful with Nina and Nina adores Kim!

We did spend the morning listening to Christmas songs and dancing around, then we took a short nap and we got to go to our Christmas dinner.

We are counting down the days.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Redemption by Derek Leux

2009-12-24T12:18:00.000-08:00

Derex Leux was a man that loved God and followed Him. He worked for the International House of Prayer and had a heart for adoption. His journey led him to Reece's Rainbow where him and his wife Renee adopted 3 children from Ukraine last year. One with Spina Bifida, and 2 with Down syndrome. Yesterday, Derek was killed in a car accident, our Reece's Rainbow family grieves his loss. As I have struggled with being here for so long, I found this post by him, written last year, when he was here in Ukraine.

Allow the words from this man to touch your hearts. Have a Merry Christmas!!!

Redemption by Derek Leux (bold added by me)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Renee' and I are sitting in the office of a telephone company in Novograd Valenski, Ukraine, using wireless internet. We are in the middle of adopting three special needs boys from an orphanage here. Two of the boys have Down Syndrome. Roman is high functioning, energetic and happy. Dimitri has serious mental retardation, failure to thrive, and though he is five years old, he is the size of a 1 year old. He has sores on his face, a distinct smell of death on him, and yells out if we try to do anything with him other than hold him. Because he has less ability to respond and learn, he naturally gets less attention and care from the orphanage workers in this world of limited resources. The harsh reality of the "survival of the fittest" principle is a life and death struggle that this little boy is losing fast. Our third boy Sasha, is a brilliant six year old who has Spina Bifida (the condition our son Josiah died from in 1996). He is like a learning sponge that can't get enough! He is happy and alert and thirsty for knowledge and experience. So with two of our boys, we get an immediate return on any investment we make. With Dimitri, there's not much immediate gratification. In fact, it's unknown when and if there will be a return at all. This is the kind of situation that makes the carnal, fallen, human reasoning think, "Why try? What's the point? What will this produce? What good will this do? Why not select a boy who has more potential? This looks like a lost cause.

Two days ago we drove for hours into the Ukrainian countryside to the village where Dimitri was born. We met with officials there and signed papers and answered their questions. We also went and saw Dimitri's house. The day had been long, we were still recovering from jet lag, I was beginning to really miss my six daughters at home and all the familiar things our fragile human hearts entangle themselves with in feeble attempts to feel secure. Sitting in the dark on our very long drive back to Novograd that night, the Holy Spirit began to whisper to my heart, and new understanding about redemption began to take shape.

I was thinking, "Man, adopting this little boy has been so much work. This is exhausting, expensive, uncomfortable… and it doesn't feel very rewarding right now." What am I doing in some little Soviet car in the dark, in the middle of rural Ukraine in frozen December, as the driver dodges cats and potholes? What if Dimitri doesn't improve at all? What if we get "nothing" out of this? Ahhh, there it was; that dark, fallen, unreedemed, selfish human love, rooted in the tree of the knowledge of "good and evil". The love the Greeks called "erao" love. The love where we treat someone as precious and treasured for what we can get out of it. This is unlike "agapeo" love, the God kind of love that treats someone as treasured and precious for their good, not for my good. It's when I love a person in order to meet their needs, having no expectation of them meeting any of my needs. At a whole new level, God is working His kind of love into myweak heart, and He's using little Dimitri to do it.

On the drive home that night, the Lord whispered in my ear, "This is Redemption. Derek, do you know how far I travelled to get you and bring you back? I had to be separated from my Son, in order to get you, just like you are separated from your children in order to get these boys. Do you know how expensive it was for Me to purchase you? It cost me everything. Do you know how broken, sick, damaged, twisted, dirty, smelly, and hopeless you were? And at the end of it all, you had nothing to give me or add to me. I did it for you. I emptied myself and became nothing so that you could have it all. This is redemption.

My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can't even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like Dimitri will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him… but… he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This is how our heavenly "Papa" feels towards us.

Today, settle your busy heart down and rest in the benefits of redemption. Enjoy the fruits of His goodness, and stop trying to "pay Him back". You'll never get close you goofy little kid.

You can visit their family blog HERE.

We have a passport!

2009-12-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

We got our passport today! As I got back on the taxi I couldn't help but cry, we are getting closer, we are going home, finally. This time the end is in sight!

Tomorrow morning we get Nina's medical done so on Monday when we go to the Embassy we will have all our documentation ready and we should get our Visa that same afternoon. Then we can come home Monday night or Tuesday morning!

More on Language

2009-12-23T12:35:00.001-08:00

Today you get two posts. In a way this is my journal, so there is not such thing as too many posts.

This afternoon Nina and I got to go have dinner with some other friends that are adopting through Reece's Rainbow. They also have their little girl with them and she is so cute!

The weather here in Ukraine is kind of crazy right now. It was warm today, enough to start melting all the snow, but there was a lot of snow, so the roads, and sidewalks (remember these are used as roads too) are a slushy mess! As we were walking, we quickly realized that there was no other option but to walk through water. Enough to cover our shoes and soak our pants. So we walked with our girls and made it to the restaurant, only to find out that it was closed for some reason. So we ventured next door to an Italian place. Nina ate some, but she was more interested in playing with a water bottle, and with the salt and pepper. Go figure.

As we left the restaurant, we realized it was raining! So we tried to be quick and avoid the Babushkas :) So there was no yelling this time. I do have to say, that I have friends that have lived here in Kyiv for years and they still get yelled at by the Babushkas, so I am not taking it personal anymore :)

We came home and Nina was ready to take a bath. I took a video right before her bath, and I realized that it had much to do with language. Even though Nina does not say lots of words in English, she is repeating, and she does use some English words with me. Now, you will notice she says something that sounds like "go potty." That is what she really is saying, however, I am positive she has no idea what it means, or she just thinks it means something different. Maybe bathroom door? Or bathroom? Not sure, but she sure is cute! So here she is, English, cuteness, and all!

Language Barrier

2009-12-23T03:38:00.001-08:00

Russian or Ukranian; it is all the same to me, but not for Nina.

Today the housekeeper came. She offered for her to stay with Nina so I could go shopping because I don't have warm clothes for her...they are just different from what they wear here, I have realized that it doesn't matter what she wears, they just don't think they are good enough because they wear different clothes. If only they knew it gets a lot colder in our neck of the woods than here! Besides, I don't know her, I cannot really communicate with her, I would not leave Nina and go somehwere.

However, as soon as the housekeeper walked into the room, Nina was excited. Not just a little excited, but very excited. It didn't matter what we were playing with, she wanted to show her, to talk to her. She spends all day with a mama that can't understand her, and that she cannot understand, but here comes lady who she can actually talk to!

It did make me a little jealous, she definitely does not talk to me like she does to the housekeeper, or Kim and Jerry. I understand why, but it is a little hard to see. At least with Kim and Jerry they can tell me what they are talking about. With the housekeeper I am clueless! I realized that I could have very well left and Nina would have been fine. Not that I needed to, or that I would be comfortable with that, but Nina would have been fine.

I know Nina was singing songs and saying rhymes with the housekeeper. That worker at the orphanage really did care about the kids, she did her best to teach them things. Nina is Ukranian after all, this is her culture, and she knows it. She is not just an orphan girl with no idea about the customs and traditions.

It was a reminder that Nina's world is changing, and that it is hard for her. Do I think she likes having a mama, and that she is happy with me? Yes I do. Do I think she is having a hard time transitioning? Yes I do.

It is part of the process, and we take it one day at a time. The more she hears English the more she will pick up words her and there, and eventually, her Ukranian will be gone. It is kind of sad.

On the meantime, I am glad that she can have those connections and that she can talk to other people.

Also, she seems to be getting a cold. Please pray that she gets better and stays healthy!

Answering Some Questions

2009-12-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

I thought I would answer some questions that have been asked about our adoption.

1. If your plane ticket is set to return at the beginning of January, why have you been so upset about not going home before Christmas, didn't you know it could take this long?

Yes, we did know it could take this long. The problems is that we have been told, while being here, time and time again that things will move quicker and that "for sure tomorrow" such and such will be ready. Now I don't know about you, but statements like that make me hope that things will move quicker, that maybe I don't have to be here so long. About almost 3 weeks we were told "You will be going home by December 23rd." So did I hope I would, of course! Wouldn't you? Especially when you are promised that tomorrow the tax code will come? Yet, it takes 6 days of tomorrows for it to arrive. It is heartbreaking. Have you ever hoped for something to happen, prayed so hard and then feel empty handed? Yes, that is how we felt. If nobody had promised anything, we would have been able to go with the flow. We are human, we hope for the best, and of course with that hope I wanted to be home for Christmas.

2. Was Nina's last name from her birth parents, or was it given to her at the orphanage?

We don't know. Either it was a name that the birth mother wrote and they think it is a fake name since they were never able to contact anyone with that name (therefore, Nina did not have papers from her birth mother saying she was giving up her rights, however, because she was abandoned, and could not find the mother, the government made the decision that she would be eligible for adoption).

Or, the maternity house wrote the fake names down because Nina needed a name, that plain ans simple.

Not so simple when having to share this with her when she is older.

Oh, and her former last name, now middle name is Shuraeva (isn't it beautiful?)

3. I did not realize you have been gone for so long! I would be a baby if I had to be gone from my kids for so long.

This is by far the hardest thing that our family has ever had to do...emotionally. Being away from my girls is very very hard. They are only 4 and 2 years old, they need their mommy. And if you have been reading my previous post, well, I would say we have hit pretty low lows, so it has not been easy at all. Worth it? Yes! Hard? Extremely!

4. How long is the trip supposed to last?

We were told anywhere from 30-45 days. Lord willing we are leaving next Tuesday and that will put me at 46 days.

5. Maybe God has a reason for you to be there so long.

Maybe He does, and maybe this is just the way things are. Those that have been her before me will attest that this is a very hard things to do. We all pray and pray that we can come home soon, but it is what it is. Can God use it? Absolutely! But right now, it just stinks!

6. Is Nina potty trained?

No!!! I add the exclamation marks because we were told she is...and she is not! She asks me to change her diaper ONLY is she poops (which I am glad to say it is every day now, so she is definitely comfortable with her mama)

7. Is Nina picking up English?

Well, it does not feel like she is. However, she is repeating a lot of the things I say, and really, she has only been with me for a week! She loves to be around Kim and Jerry who can speak to her, and she calls them aunt and uncle, it is very sweet. She does however, understand certain words pretty well.

8. Can Nina walk some?

Only with assistance and she throws her upper body forward to carry her along, since her legs are not very strong. I am excited for her to use the walker we have at home as it will not allow her to do that (it is called a reverse walker) and she will have to move her legs...that and physical therapy.

9. Will Nina ever walk normal?

Even if Nina walks on her own, her walk will never be normal, and that is what makes her special, that is what brought her into our family. If she was normal, even at the orphanage, she would not have come to our family, because God has placed in our hearts to adopt children with special needs.

10. Are Ellie and Nichole excited to meet Nina?

Yes!!! Ellie is. Today she read her a story when we were on skype. Ellie has great big plans. I really don't think Nichole gets it, but she will once Nina is home!

11. If you have any other questions, just ask and I will answer those in other posts :)

Productive Day

2009-12-22T05:23:00.001-08:00

Nina and I are exhausted this afternoon. We had a long and productive morning and we are ready to take it easy until we go to our friend's house for dinner. This kind of day makes me feel good as things move forward.

This morning we started the day a little later than I wanted. Nina is used to waking up at 8:30 and we needed to be out the door by 8:15. I could not wake her up! Finally, I asked her if she wanted a banana and she got out of bed!

So we got to the passport place and we waited for a little bit until we were able to take Nina's picture. I signed some papers and that was that. Then we waited some more so the right lady could get there. I think this is the lady that makes things happen quickly. While we waited, my facilitator was telling me that Nina's tax code had come in with a mistake in the name...what!!! He was telling me that hopefully nobody would notice. So, when the translator got there I asked her about it, she checked and said no, there is no mistake. Either our facilitator got his English confused and meant to say sometimes that happens, or he really has no idea what we decided to name Nina (which is my guess, he must think they kept her last name by mistake, but we are making that her middle name). So that was a relief!

Then we headed back to where the orphanage is at. The bank is there and Nina had some money in a bank account (all orphans have an account) we got the money, but we gave it to the orphanage as a gift. The orphanage is about an hour away from Kyiv, so that was a long drive for Nina. But she did wonderful through all the waiting and such.

At the bank I let her crawl around. An older gentleman that works there was telling Nina that she was beautiful...and to get up. Eventually he came to her and picked her up to make her stand...yeah, she can't do that, she cannot stand on her own without holding on to something for support. At this point with her legs, it is impossible for her to do that. So I came to hold on to Nina's hands. I think at this point the man figured out that she had a disability and that was that for him giving Nina any attention. Sad that this culture sees those with disabilities as less.

So we came back and we were starving. So we stopped at TGI Friday's. The booth behind us was an American man with a Ukranian woman. The man dropped the R word left and right and I thought I would say something, but then he was also using the N word and many other words. I was also glad Nina did not understand what they were talking about as it was adult material.

And then it was time to come home, and Nina and I were going to have to walk. So I got my handy wrap sling and I am so glad that I brought it! Nina and I had to stop by and pay for our apartment, then we stopped by the toy store, and then we came home.

I got a workout carrying Nina and my backpack, but I know I will be able to do it at the airports when I have to.

We are now home, and Nina is playing with the new toy (lacing animals, great for Nichole too!)

So where are we at in the process?

The passport is supposed to get here Thursday or Friday. Either way we will not make it to the US Embassy until Monday as it closes for Christmas. Which also means that hopefully we can come home next Tuesday. Unless the Passport came in Thursday morning, we will not be home on Friday.

How do I feel about it? Good. Yes, sad that I will not be home by Christmas but at least I know what is going to happen! There are no more empty promises and days where they tell us we are getting something just to be heart broken and get nothing. There is no emotional roller coaster anymore, it is what it is, and we are coming home on Tuesday. There is something very peaceful about just being done with the uncertainty and just enjoying our days here, because yes, last week was not enjoyable at all.

So in one week Nina and I will get on a plane and come home! Finally! It will be 46 days for me by the time we get home. I cannot wait to see my girls and my husband. I sure miss them.

So this was today, and in a while, we will get picked up to go have dinner with friends. A good day indeed :)

No Passport

2009-12-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

We rode a high, we had our coats on, we were so excited that things were moving, that we were getting somewhere. Maybe, just maybe we would be home on Christmas day.

Then the phone rang, I thought it was to tell us our taxi was here, but no, it was to pull us down from the high, pull us down, fast, and hard, so that we could hit the floor. No passport. We won't apply until tomorrow. Unless God does something and we could get the passport in one day, there is no way we can be home on Friday. The eraliest we can be home is next Tuesday.

The fall hurt, it hurt a lot.

And yes, I know, we have the tax code, that is great, still, the fall hurt.

Tas Code is Here

2009-12-21T06:55:00.001-08:00

Finally! We are getting picked up in 20 minutes to go apply for the passport!!!

Keep is in your prayers now!

Tomorrow is the day

2009-12-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will be anxiously waiting to hear about the tax code. I won't lie, I feel physically ill because this has had us on the edge for almost a week.

Hopefully by the time most of you wake up I will have good news to share here, so on the meantime, please pray for our family.

And we have poop!

2009-12-19T23:41:00.001-08:00

Yes, what you read has really happened, and I cheered and did a happy dance for Nina. She has been with me now for 6 days, and yesterday, finally, for the first time, she pooped! I knew she had to, and I knew that she was a little miserable, but like most women she just did not feel comfortable at a different place and she couldn't go. She wanted to, but she couldn't. And if you are smiling shaking your head is because it has happened to you too!

It is the reality of adjusting to a new life and that she is still not completely comfortable with me, we are still just getting to know each other. So now that she knows that it is okay to go, hopefully she will be okay with it.

She is still not eating much. Just juice and cheerios and unfortunately we are out of bananas. I do hope to get some soon! That is all she wants to eat, and well, I am okay with that, it will at least keep her fed and she should not get sick on the way home.

It is snowing here in Kyiv and it is cold. The coldest and snowiest it has been for many years. They don't know what to do and they don't have the equipment to keep the roads and streets clear. It is making a lot of things stop and supposedly that is part of why we don't have our tax code yet. But, I do know that it is causing a lot of problems in Ukraine. No, it is no snow like in the Midwest, but still, there is lots of snow and it really is cold!

Nina is no longer screaming when I put her to bed, not crying either, but she just lays awake for a long time, last night it was 2 hours and 20 minutes. She does feel for me at night to make sure I am there and every morning she gets up and checks to make sure I am there. She then asks to play with the cell phone, then the alarm clock, then she lays next to me for some kisses. And she smiles. Then it is time to get up and get some breakfast. Tea and cheerios. This while watching Baby Signing Time and...she can even say it!

She tries to imitate a lot of things that I say and she talks a lot. Funny, Andy and I wondered if she talked at all, but she really does. She has a few words and they sound so cute with her Russian accent. She is doing better at paying attention and playing with me, but she still gets overstimulated and starts throwing things and gets out of control, which is my cue to let her be and give her some space. Her naughty is her way of telling me that she has had enough (I think) Unfortunately she can only give me so much time without getting to that point, so at times I just talk to her while she plays on her own, that seems to work well.

And, here is another video of Nina, she was again turning the lights on, but she was talking more to me and interacting a little bit. I was bummed I turned the camera off right before she said "Baby Signing Time" for the first time! She calls it music too, because she just loves to listen to the music, I have tried other music or one of the other Signing Time DVDs, but no, she only likes the one. She is learning words watching it and listening to it. More than the signs, she is learning the words.

As for prayer request, tomorrow we are hoping to get the tax code, so it will be a hard day as I wait for the phone call or call myself. If it comes in the morning we can apply for the passport, and possibly give us a chance to come home on Christmas day. If it comes in the afternoon, we will not be home until the following week (because the embassy closes for Christmas Holidays)

And why is it a hard day? Because you hope, you hope and pray so much that you will get good news, and when it doesn't come, you hit bottom, and it is very hard to accept. I know that this is precious time with Nina, but please understand that this is hard, and sometimes it is just nice to hear people say, "It sucks." Last week this happened every day, as every day we were told tomorrow. It is a fragile place to be emotionally. But you can pray for strength and encouragement.

I am thankful that you have followed our journey, it does mean so much. We feel like you have wanted to take a part in the journey too, and somehow we don't feel alone. We are so thankful for you, and we thank God for showing us His love through you too.

The Outing Adventure

2009-12-19T03:18:00.000-08:00

Today Nina and I left the apartment for the first time since Tuesday. The cleaning lady was coming at 11:00 am and we were supposed to be gone. My plan was to go get money, go to the toy store, get something for Nina and then swing by the grocery store and come home. I figured the venture would take an hour.

So at 10:45 we started getting our coats on. Here in Ukraine they are very particular about how you dress children, so I decided to go with the flow and put some extra clothes on Nina. She wore thermal underwear, a turtle neck, a sweatshirt, and a sweater, and 2 pairs of tights. A scarf, mittens, hat, snow pants, winter coat, and her shoes. I of course, was dressed warm and had my winter coat on.

Then came the sling so I can carry her (I considered bringing a stroller, and I am so glad I didn't, there is no way you can push a stroller on this streets when there is snow, no way!) Well, I hadn't thought much about wearing a sling when you have so many clothes on, and quickly realized there was no way I could get Nina right on a hip carry. I had to do a front carry, and if you think about it, even babies get to be too long and their legs get on the way. But that was the only way I was going to be able to carry her.

This I must say, took us about 30 minutes. As soon as we stepped outside and the snow/ice was falling, I realized my plans would have to change. We would go to the grocery store (about a block away) and come back home.

Did I say Ukranians are particular about how to dress their children? Well, they are also very particular about when you take your children out, and today was a day where children simply do not go anywhere but stay home. half a block away a lady approached me to tell me so. I smiled and told her in my poor Russian "I don't understand" and kept walking.

We walked in the store and the couple of ladies at the door gave me disapproving looks. Fine with me. We got our groceries (thankfully they had cheerios! but no bananas, we need to find bananas) As I was paying 3 ladies were talking about us, I could see them pointing at Nina, her feet (she was wearing warm shoes, but no boots, big mistake) and were definitely talking about what a terrible mother I must be.

(Should I actually admit the next part? Sure, I will) So I started to talk to Nina too, in a very sweet voice, I do promise that. "These ladies are so rude Nina! They need to mind their own business, they don't even know how many clothes you are wearing and if they are saying you should be walking well then, they really do need to mind their own business. Can you say rude Nina? Say Rude?"

I hate to admit this, but it made me feel better, and I promise I was just talking to Nina with a sweet sweet voice. I did say thank you as I left :) And now you know that pastor's wives are normal people too!

We walked back home, we were only gone for 15 minutes and the cleaning lady was here. The first thing she said? Something about Nina not being dressed warm enough or that she needed boots. I tried to explain to her she had three layers on her feet besides her shoes, but how do you say that?

She came later and asked Nina if she was cold, I could tell, thankfully Nina told her she was not and well, the girl was sweating! She asked Nina how old she was and when Nina said 3, she told me she should be walking and not carried in a sling, I tried to tell her she couldn't, not sure she understood.

So she cleaned with us here and eventually we started to talk. She realized that Nina spoke Russian, actually, she told me Nina speaks more Ukranian than Russian and she taught me a few words. Then she saw Nina get down and noticed her legs and asked about it. Once I told her Nina had Cerebral Palsy it was almost like I had grown another head, from all the children I could have adopted, why that one? And then it made sense I had her in a sling. So I showed her pictures of our family, and when she saw Nichole and asked if she had Down syndrome, I think she said I was very unlucky and that it was too bad, she was sorry. Sad that here so many people look at children with special needs that way. I told her that we loved it, and that we don't care. (All of this of course, is interpretation and actions and facial expressions)

Overall, she was great because she helped me with some words around the apartment, and she thought my accent was pretty funny. I am pretty sure she asked Nina if she understood her mama, and Nina said no. Well, she will eventually.

She also asked me how old I was and was very surprised when I said 28, she said I looked like a child. Then she also asked me if was pregnant...I hope it was the layers I have on and not that I am looking a little bit rounder around my mid-section. When I said no it didn't even face her, maybe here people do not get offended by someone saying "you have a belly!"

So Nina told the lady she wanted eggs. I made her some. Well, of course I make things different than what she has ever had. Not sure how she has eggs. Also, I need to be careful because evrything I give her she dumps it in her drink. So, she put half her eggs in her tea, yeah, pretty gross. Sometimes she actually eats things like that (like she put in mashed potatoes in her apple juice and actually ate it the other day)

I am thankful we know she likes cheerios, right now that and juice is all she eats. We are out of bananas, or she would have some too. Well, I suppose she has had some soup and she eats that pretty well with some bread in it.

Okay, this is a long post, but this is life for us so far. I do hope the weather gets nicer so we can go get some new toys, we are running out of ideas of what to do and I can only carry her so far with the sling. Not much to do with children here, we really have never seen very many children around.

Still no tax code

2009-12-18T13:11:00.001-08:00

I should let you all know that we have no tax code.

Maybe on Monday, but I say that lightly, since we were told we could have gotten in Tuesday, and by Monday it will be almost a week from the time we were told we could get it.

Best case scenario I come home on Christmas day, if not, maybe the following week, but hopefully I will be back before the New Year.

Tired Mama

2009-12-18T00:52:00.000-08:00

I am a tired mama. Nina is still not sleeping well and therefore neither am I. So if I am tired she has to be tired too. I know life is so different for her, sometimes it sounds like she was crying in her sleep, it really is hard because I wish I could talk to her and understand what she says. Maybe help her work through her feelings. All I can do is pray and ask God to meet her and to calm her heart and all her fears.

Thanks to our friends I was able to learn a few words in Russian and last night after a screaming child that did not want to go to bed I finally said, "Go to bed, do you understand!" All in my broken Russian. She said no, I said yes, and that was that. At least she stayed in bed, still screaming, but she stayed in bed.

Today we discovered a food she likes...cheerios! Oh where will I find cheerios here? I need to go hunting for them.

She is a sweet little girl, and again thanks to our missionary friends we have learned some things about her. She likes dogs but not cats. She thinks she has a nice mama. She likes to play. We also know that she says, "Give me!" a lot, and "I can't" Life will surely change once she has sisters to compete with an a mama that will not allow her to use her disability as a crutch.

She is a lot like a baby or toddler. All about maikng noise, and shaking things like rattles. Everything goes in her mouth. In most ways Nichole is ahead of her, the difference is that Nina can talk, and well, Nichole can sign! But, I do think as Nina is home with us she will start to develop and eventually be close to her peers, we will see, we are just happy that we finally get to call her our own.

So even though the days have been trying with her, it is wonderful to have this connection, that we can get to know one another. Then when we get home at least our relationship will be a little more established, especially when we get to the wonderful craziness of extended family.

On a different note, Nina is cross eyed, and she will definitely need glasses or even surgery if it is bad enough, not sure. Glad we know a great Opp-tometrist!

Still no new on the tax code. I guess their phones are not working and our facilitator is on his way to the town where it needs to be picked up. If he does get it, they will call me and get a taxi for me so we can apply for the passport. We are praying it does work out!

And here are some pictures of Nina :)

These are pictures I took for her passport. She was not supposed to smile, I took lots of them until we found one that will work.

With her binky, I do think she finds comfort in it, and I am okay with her having it, when she is 4, and she understands English, we will wok on being done with it, for now, she needs it! And this is a new one I bought, the one we got from the orphanage was in rough shape, it was about to break into pieces.

And here is a little video where you can see a little bit of how CP affects Nina. Her legs are "bent" and she can only stand on her toes since her feet cannot go flat on the ground. It is pretty impressive how she can get up and move with her legs like that (which is why there is no "I can't do it!")

No Tax Code

2009-12-17T06:46:00.001-08:00

They said maybe tomorrow, maybe.

They said if we get it tomorrow then we can apply for the passport. They said 3-4 days to get that done. Then the embassy closes for Holidays and I cannot get the visa.

They said I will not be home for Christmas.

I cannot tell you how sad I am and how much I just want to curl in a corner and cry cry cry.

Please pray for a miracle. I want to go home.

More on Nina

2009-12-17T05:29:00.000-08:00

Our friends from Kyiv have been missionaries here for a year, but they were missionaries in Russia before and their Russian is great (even if they say it is not) so the last couple of days they have come to see Nina and I and I think Nina loves having someone she can talk to and understand each other :)

She is picking up some words, and she tries to repeat many of the things that I say, which is great, now she just needs to know what they mean.

There are a few things that she says she cannot do, like getting down from the couch, or picking up a mess she has made. I don't know if she used this at the orphanage for attention, or if she was told that. But she will soon learn that she can do it! And she better do it or she will have to go to the naughty corner. Now things that are really physically impossible of course we will not make her do.

Eating and sleeping are still our struggles. No nap today, but, she did have some rest time/quiet time. That is good for me, now I only have to fight a bed time.

So far, tea and bananas are the food of her choice, and some instant soups that Kim brought for us. Today I got her to have a little of my peanut butter and jelly. This time she did take a couple bites. Who can resist a PBJ sandwich?

She loves music and she sings quite a bit, it is sweet. I have tried to get it on video and she stops as soon as she sees the camera.

On a different note. Having her with me makes me miss my girls and my family so much more. I am homesick and discouraged as I have heard nothing about the tax code. Please pray, I guess it could still be here, but if we don't get it before Christmas, who knows when I will be home because the US Embassy closes for Holidays. So pray pray pray.

We just want to be home.

Tax Code

2009-12-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

Well, the tax code is not here yet. I just got an e-mail from our facilitator saying maybe tomorrow or Friday. This is not looking so good time wise, but, there is nothing we can do.

Please pray for the tax code to come as soon as possible!

Getting to know each other

2009-12-16T04:56:00.000-08:00

Nina and I have been getting to know each other. It has been fun and I am a full time mommy again, it means I take naps when needed, which sometimes could mean every day :)

Last night, after 2 1/2 hours Nina finally went to sleep. It had taken me many minutes to realize that she was asking for a pacifier (many minutes, but not many hours!) And she likes her pacifier, she actually keeps it in her moth all night long which of course is a lovely noise I am not used to hearing at nights. She also does an exercise routine in her sleep (I am sure of it!) So I did not get much sleep. However, this morning she woke up, looked around and then saw me...she smiled. Maybe going home with her mama had not just been a dream.

Well I am not getting the food department right. She is not eating very much but she is at least drinking. She asks me to give her who knows what to eat. My hope is she gets hungry enough that she eats what I am making her. I think at the orphanage they ate one thing only, and I do not make that one thing.

She also is testing it all! And discovering what mamas do. She hurt her finger, and I had responded by kissing it before. Oh my, little dramas going on here (they last all but 1 second) but she has figured that I come to her and kiss her "owies."

We are also finding humor in the little things, as we both understand regardless of language. Things like bodily functions, which my 4 year old finds amusing too. And just to let you know, "acky" is not a good term to say something might taste bad, because it is too close to the slang in Russian for "poopy" which will make a 3 year old laugh so hard she will pee her pants! (Well, at least we are using diapers still!) I bet you all wanted to know all of this :)

Nap time again was hard. I wonder why she does not like to sleep. Maybe it is still too different? But still, I think she likes being here. She feels loved!

When Love Takes You In

2009-12-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day full of emotion. As Nina and I said goodbye, there were many tears. Tears from her favorite worker, who was struggling not to cry, she gave Nina a kiss and a hug, and as she walked away I saw in her face a broken heart, yet, happiness for this sweet girl. The doctor too was teary eyed, and as all the worker gathered around, I could not help but cry too.

I thanked them for all they have done for Nina for 3 1/2 years. I thanked them for their love, for their care. I told them that they would always have a dear place in our hearts and that we would tell Nina about the wonderful people that were a part of her life while she lived in Ukraine.

Then we walked out of the orphanage. Nina was confused and pointed at the door. "We are not going back Nina" I whispered in her ear, "You are coming home to mama."

I recently found the song "When Love Takes You In" by Steven Curtis Chapman, I cannot embed it, but click HERE to watch the video and listen to the words.

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

Yesterday our translator said that Nina looked different, that she looked love. I saw it today, I looked for it. The rest of the children did not look loved, they are wondering if someday love will take them in. I held Marshall today, I helped feed him. I tickled him and took a little video. Oh how I want him to have a family. Most of the kids cried with me there. Did they know I was taking Nina, that love would take her in? Did they want that too? That little boy that is all over the place was hungry for love, I could see it. So I sat by him as he ate lunch and held his hand, he loved it, that is all he wants...love.

Will love take them in? Will you take one of them in?

Gotcha Day!!!

2009-12-15T09:44:00.001-08:00

Where do I start? How do I describe this day, all the emotions that I have, all that has taken place in just a few shirt hours?

It is 7:44 pm here. Nina is sleeping peacefully although an hour ago I thought we were in for a tough night. Either I need to learn Russian or she needs to pick up English fast! I don't know how many times Nina was trying to tell me that she wanted her pacifier, but after a good half hour I figured it out! Oh poor girl, her mama needs to remember what mamas do after my long month break (yes, I have been gone for exactly a month!)

We started the day with an adventure. I was getting picked up at MacDonald's at 8:30. When my translator called and asked where I was and I said right outside MacDonald's and she said she could not see me I realized I went to the wrong place! She came and got me and all was well, we were just a little bit late.

All was well at the birth certificate place, except for one thing, they ran out of the paper to make them. So they sent us away promising that it would be ready by 2:00 pm. It meant, we could not stop by the tax office either. So we went to get Nina and arrived at around 11:00. We were there for about 2 hours! I got to see her eat lunch and then we finally left!

The birth certificate place then had misplaced some documents. We waited. I am not sure what happened but our facilitator ran to the tax place to drop off a document he had promised. He didn't get it, he said maybe tomorrow or Thursday. He said he will do his best to have us home by Christmas. I hope so too!

We have been home and have had a great time, full of discoveries, pushing limits and more!

She is figuring out that if she tells me she has to go to the bathroom, I will stop anything and take her. Well, I am not sure she is really potty trained, but she is getting me pretty well trained!

She was stinky, so I had to give her a bath. Well, let me tell you, she loved it! Yes, she really did! I thought it would be screaming and kicking but oh my she loved it! So she started telling me she had to go potty, we get to the bathroom, and she help take her pants off, and diaper, and then points at the bath! Yes, she loved it!

Throwing things, dropping things...she is figuring out what her limits are. Which of course is expected! It is now 9:00 and she is not sleeping yet. Obviously this post has taken me some time. When she first woke up she pointed to the computer and said daddy. She obviously is getting that she can be sweet and cute and maybe get her way.

But she is with me, she is mine! No more nights at the orphanage, no more nights without a mama! We are getting to know each other and it feels so good to have her with me!

Tax Code: Keep the Prayers Coming!

2009-12-14T09:13:00.001-08:00

I just got word that our facilitator was able to apply for the tax code! He said tomorrow we will stop by and show them the new birth certificate. At that point they can give us the tax code or make us wait!
Pray that we do get the tax code! Pray with us, then we can really get things moving! With God all things are possible, and He can make this happen!

Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow is "gotcha day!"

In the morning I will go and get Nina's new birth certificate. Andy and I will be listed as her parents, her birth certificate will actually read "Nina Stumbo!"

After that, we are stopping by the tax office to check on the tax code. If we get it back, we can even apply for the passport later in the day.

From there we go to the orphanage and we get Nina!

Our translator told me she went to the orphanage today to get some pictures. She told me she got to see Nina.

"She looks differnt." She said

"What do you mean different?" I asked

"She looks different than last time I saw her, different form all the other kids"

"And why is that?"

"I can tell the difference, because she looked loved"

Yes, Nina is loved, she is loved! And that has made all the difference!

Prayer Request!!!

2009-12-13T10:44:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning, which will be tonight for most of you, our facilitator will try to apply for our tax code.
This tax code is what keeps families here the longest. It can take a day, or weeks!
I thought we would apply for this on Tuesday, but they will try this tomorrow!
Pray, please pray!

-Pray that they are able to apply tomorrow
-Pray that the tax code is ready by Tuesday! Yes I am asking for something that is not likely, but it is not impossible! How great to pick up Nina and be able to go get her passport right away! Then we would for sure be home by Christmas!

So tonight will you pray for us? And tomorrow morning will you continue in your prayers?

10 Days: Waiting

2009-12-13T06:59:00.001-08:00

A week ago my good friend Catherine sent me an e-mail with the song "While I am Waiting" bu John Waller. That same day my friend Dora has sent me a message saying she had heard the song and had thought about us.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Today, our 10 day waiting period is over. It is over, but we are still waiting. I still have to wait 2 more days to get Nina out of the orphanage, and I have to wait to have all our paperwork done so that we can come home.

No, waiting is not easy, adoption is not easy. The roller coaster of emotions has taken us on the ride of a lifetime. At times it has been exciting, at times it has been scary. At times we have wanted to stop the ride altogether, and at times we enjoy the wind on our face as we flip and turn. But all along, our emotions have been tender and there have been many tears along the way. Sad tears, frustrated tears, and happy tears.

There are many children in Nina's orphanage. Many hearts that have been forgotten. Many souls that long for love, for a family. Their faces will forever follow me, they will visit me in dreams and they will sit on my lap as I pray, so that I remember them and lift them up to the Father. It is so hard to leave them behind.

Jeremiah 49:11 says, "Leave your orphans; I will protect their lives." Today I find great comfort in those verses. No, it does not mean that no hardships will come their way, and it does not mean that in this world they will find love, but it does mean that the Lord is with them, that their lives are precious to God. He created them, He loves them, and His heart breaks for their lives and the brokenness of this world that has landed them in an orphanage, to be left alone. But they are never alone.

But there is one orphan girl. One sweet child that I get to take home. One little girl that will know that she is loved, that her life has great value, that her life is worth living. She will know that she is wanted.

I listened to Chris Tomlin's song this morning, "Amazing Grace" and the choirs made me stop.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

On Tuesday, I will walk out of the orphanage with Nina in my arms. We will walk out and we will not look back. Her chains will be gone! She will be set free! We have followed God's calling, and we have come across the world to take a child that seems broken to the world, to take her and make her our own. Much like Christ did for us.

Yes, there have been sacrifices along the way. But they are worth it, her chains will be gone, she will be set free. And she will know about Jesus, she will know about her Savior. We can give her love, we can give her a family, but what really matters, what we really have to give...is Jesus.

And while we wait to come home, we will worship Him! We will worship while we are waiting, because of what He has done.

Friday's Visit

2009-12-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

Today's visit was a challenge. There is a little boy that is new to Nina's groupa and he is able to do a lot more than the other kids. He can climb in and out of the playpen and is all over the place. He is also a little aggressive and pushy. Basically, he just wants someone to love him and give him attention, and this is the only way that he knows how...demand it!

Nina and my favorite worker was there again this morning, but I have noticed that she leaves almost as soon as I get there. Not sure why, maybe she is supposed to go and be with the other kids as she is the only worker that I have seen playing with kids and interacting with them (no wonder she is a favorite!) They did ask me when I was taking Nina, so they should not be surprised that on Tuesday I am taking her and now they have plenty of time to say goodbye.

Unfortunately today, most of my visit with Nina was spent trying to get this little boy away from her. I understand, why is this woman only playing with Nina? Why is Nina getting all the attention? Why does she get all the special toys? So he had to have everything Nina had, it was hard. He was climbing over her, trying to push her, take whatever it was Nina had in her hand, or hit her. Where were the worker you wonder? Yeah well...so did I, because there were two of them right in the room. They were preoccupied with their conversation I suppose.

I had to get up and try to hold this little boy, and eventually he started trying to hit me and almost bit my hand. I discovered today I have pretty good reflexes when it comes to feeling little teeth on me. Yes, eventually the workers came, and it became crying time for the little boy. Which became crying time for all the kids. Yeah, lovely!

They did let Oksana get out of the playpen and come be with us. Most of the time I had my arm wrapped around her and she just melted right into my arms and laid her head on my chest. Probably for about 30 minutes. This little girl wants a mama so badly, and I do really hope that she finds a family soon! (Her name is Olivia on Reece's Rainbow, sorry if I have confused anyone!) I played with her as much as I could and got 2 short videos without the workers noticing. She is so hungry to learn! This little girl has tremendous potential! I am not sure that she really is delayed or if that is just a result of living in an orphanage.

Nina was fine for as long as Oksana just enjoyed being held, but once Oksana wanted to interact, Nina would call, "MAMA!" And we were back to playing.

Well eventually little boy came back, workers were talking conversing again. I just packed all my stuff and held Nina while I sang to her. She loved it! And the few actions that I would do she would imitate. Oh I cannot wait to have her with me so she can really have my undivided attention and I know in just a few days she will learn so much!

Eventually I had to leave. Sometimes it is just easier on the other children. It is sad. I think being in the room with the children and seeing what their lives are like has really impacted me. My heart breaks every time, all these children need families and yet, only the w little ones I have posted about are available for adoption. But at least they can be saved!

7 days, 3 more to go!

2009-12-10T04:36:00.000-08:00

That is right, there are only 3 more days left of our waiting period. Time has gone by pretty quickly and it has been wonderful to see Nina. Oh how she is working herself into my heart. I look forward to seeing her everyday and I am sad to say goodbye, wishing that I could take her with me and never have to come back.

Today I brought diapers for the orphanage. Here, diapers are called "pampers." But I have not seen that brand anywhere! As soon as they saw me walking in with the 2 bags, I was the most popular person in the orphanage! All the workers came to see and the word spread quickly. I knew they were short on diapers but did not realize how much they needed them. But, they are remodeling, so I am afraid that the children are not getting as much right now with the money going to the building.

Nina smiles so big at me and her little arms just reach out for me to pick her up. How I love that, and how I love showering her with kisses!

We had fun today. The less things I bring the better, because she can focus on those few things. Today her favorite were the Signing Time flashcards, and I got her to say "shoes."

We also looked at some pictures, and you will see that video where she is being silly but looking at pictures. The sweetest thing though was that she took a picture of Andy and I, and with her little fingers she started to touch Andy's face on the picture and she was saying "tickle, tickle." Oh, that was so very sweet!

And today when her favorite worker left she shook her head "no" and seemed to be getting very sad, but then the worker said to her that I was staying, and she was the one leaving. So Nina looked at me and smiled and waved "paka" to the worker, kept playing with me. This is HUGE! This lady has been the closest to a mother figure and she was choosing me!

At the end of our time, I said to her goodbye, she said "no." And clung to me, clung to my neck. Fortunately the workers were coming with their bowls and food, getting the room ready for lunch. Nina was hungry and she did let me go just fine. I guess I still cannot compete with food!

Enjoy the pictures and the videos. She is a sweet sweet little girl. I cannot wait to bring her home to her family. Oh, and she also says "Nico" for Nichole. She points at her in the pictures and says, "Nico." Ellie sometimes she calls Nina, sometime Lala. It is sweet :) But lala means girl in Russian, so not sure she gets what we are saying.

Tomorrow another visit with my girl!

Wednesday's Visit

2009-12-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

I walked into Nina's room today, all the kids were in the large playpen, each playing on their own, except for two kids playing with a worker. A worker! There was a worker in the playpen playing with the kids and interacting with them. It was so good to see that! It was Nina's favorite worker, and she was one of the kids with her, along with Marshall, the little boy with Down syndrome.

I walked in and all the kids and workers turned to see who was walking in. Then I heard "Mama!" Yes! It was Nina, excited to see me. She crawled to the edge of the playpen with arms outstretched for me! I scooped her up and gave her some kisses. Then she gave me a big hug, yes, that is right, SHE actually hugged ME! Oh we are getting there, she is liking me more and more!

This is Nina's favorite worker. She is so wonderful with all the children. She genuinely loves them and like I said, she actually plays with the kids and helps them learn through play. I need to get her name before we leave. She also is nice and asks me questions. We laugh most of the time because we just cannot understand each other.
Nina is just letting me see more and more of her personality. She can be a little stinker! She actually likes to do things that I say no to. Like eating play-doh for example. She does not like the taste, but will start laughing and I know she is about to put it in her mouth. And yes, she smiles the entire time even as she makes a face because of the bad taste.
I visited in the same room, with all the other kids. Oksana again cried for me, so I got up to give her a hug. Oh how she melted in my arms! Sweet girl, I hope she finds a family soon. Her CP is very mild and she wants a family so bad.

I asked to take pictures of her and Marshall as they are available for adoption through Reece's rainbow (Home Blog).

At some point the kids again were getting too worked up with me there. But this worker is good with kids and she got to playing and entertaining some of them and got some of them out of the playpen so we could all be together. It was much better, but the kids were coming at me fast and wanted all of my attention. It breaks my heart, they can tell that I give myself to Nina, and of course they want with every fiber in their body to have the same. If you have considered adoption but money is holding you back, please contact me, I will help you!!!

On another note. I also got 2 hugs from Nina today. She hugged me without prompting or for any other reason other than she wanted to give me a hug :) These are sweet, sweet moments.

I will go see her again tomorrow. Will try to get more pictures of her and the other kids, as well as the room where she lives.

Just a Picture

2009-12-08T05:11:00.000-08:00

Nothing happening today really. I have stayed in the apartment all day, so there really isn't much going on. I did manage to take 2 pictures of Nina yesterday when I visited in the small room. She was being goofy and after the flash she would clap her hands as a response and laugh so hard.

I did want to mention that she was very interested in the family photos. One particular photo of Ellie she has pointed at several times and said "Nina." I think she sees the resemblance. When she got to the picture of Andy and I, she wanted it. She has looked at these pictures many times before and never been too interested, but this time, she wanted that picture. I took it out and gave it to her, she smiled and pointed at Andy's picture. It was sweet.

A worker asked who those people were. "Mama" she said and pointed at me. "Dada" she said and pointed at Andy. The worker said no, that is her "papa." (Here dad is papa) But no, when we first met Nina we called him dada and daddy, so that is what she calls him, which I do think it is sweet. She did not want to give me the picture back, but I know if I give it to her I will never get it back, at least not in one piece, and I have no guarantees that they will allow her to have it with her. Just one more week! Just one more week and she is mine! Then she can carry that picture with her everywhere if she wants!

Here is Nina's picture from yesterday.

My Heart Breaks for Orphans

2009-12-07T02:44:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying that Nina's orphanage is a good one. From what we have been told, it is one of the best orphanages here in Ukraine. The doctor at their orphanage is wonderful, she really cares about the children, and the workers are also all very caring. At least in the small ways they can and know.

Nina's house (this orphanage is made up of several houses) is getting remodeled. So as I walked inside, neither the doctor's office nor the room where we visited before were available. As a matter of fact, as I walked in I wondered where in the world I would visit her. So I walked straight to her room, as far as I could tell, it was the only one with children. My guess is that the other kids have been moved temporarily to the other houses.

I walked in, and all the children in Nina's groupa were playing in the big playpen. Some of the kids saw me and tried to get my attention. A little girl with CP saw me and started to cry, reaching out to me and calling me "mama." Talk about heart wrenching.

The workers found themselves in a predicament, so what was their solution? They brought a little table and a chair with a stool for me. I realized then, they were going to have me visit with Nina right there, in that room, and please ignore the other children because any attention I give them makes them very agitated.

When I visit Nina I bring toys for her in a bag, along with candy and snacks. Nina knows this, and of course wants to play. Imagine doing this in front of the other children. Do you see my dilema? I can't give her candy and not the other kids! I can't give her a snack and not them! The little girl, Oskana, kept crying for me, or for a mama, and even though it was Russian I underestood what she was saying, "I want a mama! I want a mama!" And I know the workers were telling her to stop, that I was Nina's mama. So she cried some more, "I want a mama too!"

I wanted to scoop her up, to give her a big hug. And how I wished I could have found her a mama, and tell her, "See! Here is your mama!" I decided maybe it would be a good idea to blow bubbles for all the kids. Oskana stopped crying and loved the bubbles. So did the other kids, and Nina. I realized Nina was confused, why was I not playing with her? And I really did not want this to become a question in her heart, "Is she here for me or for them?" Her little face was really confused. Not jealous, not throwing a fit, but I could tell she did not understand. Bubbles were great, but with the children so spread out it was taking me a while to go around the room and get enough bubbles for all of them.

A little girl rocked and rocked herself. Okay, I just don't know how to describe this, she violently rocked herself against the playpen. She was hitting it hard. The workers kept asking her to stop. Obviously having me there was causing her some distress. Rock, rock, rock. She wouldn't stop.

I had to leave the room, me being there was too much for these children. These children who desperately want a mama. They do not understand "She is Nina's mama." All they know, is that I am someone's mama, and why in the world won't I get them and pick them up.

I called the translator and asked her to tell one of the workers that I wanted to take Nina for a walk. They tried to explain to me it would not work, because she can't walk. I know! I will carry her! So they agreed, they were hesitant, but they agreed.

Oh if you had seen Nina's face as they were getting her ready! She knew, she knew! And she was as excited as can be! They got me a stroller, and so we went outside. There were the other children out there, walking, they came over to say hi to Nina. These were the kids form Kellsey's groupa (Frank and Renees little girl). My first thought was of Kellsey, home with her brothers and sisters. In a loving home, with a future before her. My heart broke for the sweet faces in front of me. Will they ever have that?

I then took Nina out of the stroller, it was impossible to maneuver in the uneven ground. I decided she could point and tell me where she wanted to go. So we did. As we walked around, as she smiled at me, as she tried to be away from the other children it hit me: her world is so limited, not only because she is an orphan, but because of her CP. Her world is limited to the places she can go, and those places are all found in one room, ONE room. Nobody is there to open her world. Nobody ever has stood before a road to be her legs, to walk up and down, to explore trails. Nobody ever has, and in this place, nobody ever will. In that moment I was her legs, so what did I do? I took off running, with Nina on my hip, we ran! We ran as fast as I could and for as long as I could. Joy, there was pure joy in my daughter's face! In that moment, she could run!

I need to get in good shape. I could only do that for so long. I need to do it for her, at times, I will have to be her legs.

She motioned she wanted to get down, she took my hands and looked up at me. I got it. Now she wanted to try, she wanted to run. So we took off! We ran! I basically carried her, but I could feel her little legs trying to move. It was pure bliss! A worker shook her head at us. She wore disapproval on her face from the moment we had stepped outside, Nina just does not get to go out. But not today, today, disapproval would be tossed away, and a child would feel the cold wind on her face and run! Run with her mama!

It was cold, Nina was ready to go inside.

All the kids were crying, all except Marshall, a little boy with Down syndrome who played quietly on his own. He is a sweet little angel. Actually, all kids play on their own. Even though they are together, they do not play with each other.

Oksana was being made to lay down while a boy threw himself on the ground repeatedly, banging his head hard each time. Finally a worker took him out of the playpen and sat him on a chair. The one little girl rocked herself against the bars of her house, her jail.

Nina wanted nothing to do with the workers. She only wanted me, and her favorite worker was not there today. Finally she went to them, I believe they told her she needed to eat, and I could tell she was hungry.

I left, as quickly as I could. I couldn't stand watching those children, wasting away behind the wooden bars of the playpen. They are so little, so young, so innocent! Who will hold them? Who will love them? Who will be their mama and their papa? Who will give up a brand new car, or a vacation so that one of these will have a family of their own, a hope, and a future?

I cannot save them all, I cannot take them all. But I can save one, my daughter, Nina.

I changed my mind, as soon as we apply for her tax code I am getting her out of there, hopefully next Tuesday, I can do the rest of the paperwork with her on my hip even if it means hours of waiting, and an tired and crabby child.

We will walk out, with me as her legs, and we are not going back. She will come to a family, to a papa, a mama, and 2 sisters. To an extended family that will adore her, to a church family that will embrace her, to a hope and a future.

Most of all, she will know about the One who loves her. The One who called us to get her out of that place. She will know about Jesus.

Night Time

2009-12-06T12:59:00.000-08:00

So now that it is time for me to go to bed, and I have been in the apartment for the evening, thinking back in what happened today I realize it was not that big of a deal. Everything worked out, I really would not have been in trouble. I know had I called the other family that is here they would have ran over to be with me. Truly, I am not alone.

I thought I would delete my last post, but in a way, this is part of the journey, and in a way, this is my journal. I might be crazy to be blogging all that is on my mind, but in a way you get to journey with me, even as I freak out!

What a journey, from the start. To completely trust in God, to ride the roller coaster of emotions that comes with adoption, but all along, it is a journey of trust. God has been in this since the beginning, He is not ever turning His back. And it has been a journey full of God's blessings, surprises, and blessings. What a wonderful journey it has been.

Tomorrow I get to go see Nina, I am excited.

Scary Day

2009-12-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day that I felt scared being here.Nothing big happened really, but being here on my own in a country where I do not speak the language and don't know how things work...well, it was scary!

I was ready to move out of my apartment by 12:00, my bags were packed and so was my suitcase. I knew a driver was coming to get me to take me to the office, then to the new apartment. I had told the rental place that I needed help since I had a few bags, they said the driver would come to my door to help me out.

At 12:00 the doorbell rang, it was the housekeeper. She came in, I thought, no big deal, the driver will be here soon. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. I went to the door, and about 4 people are standing there, talking to me fast. I obviously do not understand. "English?" I ask, I guess not, so I got the housekeeper, and they walked right in. They saw all my bags packed, and even though I don't understand Russian, I know what they were saying. They pointed at them, pointed at me, and pointed me towards the door, speaking, basically saying, "Get out of here, this is our apartment!" Because they were then pointing at themselves.

I did not move, no way am I leaving and being left out in the street, also, I could not possibly get all my luggage out on my own. (I had all my groceries in bags)

More people walked in, all talking to me, "get out of here." I did not move. Finally another man walked in. A lady talked to him, then she said to me, "Your driver, you go." Oh, so maybe someone did speak English. So we left, he helped me out, he did not speak English. In the elevator there were 2 people that had been in the apartment. They spoke some English, they were actually kind of friendly, why not talk to me in the apartment?

In the car, a lady came and asked for the key to the apartment. I told her I was told to return it at the office. She said no, give it to her, they were told I would give them the key. Well, I did, hoping that was okay, the driver motioned for me to give it to her.

Back in the office I walk in. First thing I hear. "We have a problem, the man in your apartment was supposed to leave, but he just called and said he is not moving, he likes the apartment and he wants to stay." Okay, what does that mean, right? "Don't worry, we told him he cannot stay, he is finally agreed to move out. We will take you there and you can drop of your luggage and get out of there so he can keep packing." What? "Sorry?" I asked, "I am not comfortable with that."

"Okay," she said, "We will then drop you off at the door and you will wait there until he is done and the housekeeper is done cleaning, it should take about 2 hours."

What? Yes, this is when I wanted to cry. They though the other solution was to leave me out in the street? "No," I said, "I will call my friends." I called the Rundstrums and told them what was happening. Kim told me to come over and they would later take me to the apartment. They live on the same street, just a few blocks down the road.

So I told the lady at the office to take me there. When she told the driver, he responded that if he took me there, I had to pay him, $50! And that is in USD. What! When he saw my face, he must have said, no, maybe he was trying to get money, let's take advantage of the American, at least it felt that way. Now, please know, he had been very nice to me, very polite and extremely helpful, he really is a nice man, but he might have thought a little extra money would be nice? But he said fine, I will take her for free because of the inconvenience of her situation. So he would have left me on the street for free, but a few extra blocks for money?

I paid for the apartment. They were supposed to give us credit because our rfiend Frank has paid until Wednesday and they had said we could have his credit for the days that had been paid. No, not so much. She said I had to pay all. I did.

We walked back to the car. As you can imagine, I was fighting tears, praying all along. I know God was right there with me, but this was one time that I wish I had someone to physically hold my hand and hear the words, "it is okay."

I got to the Rundtroms, fighting tears. It was wonderful to see Kim's face, a friendly face. A safe face.

Came back to the apartment. No internet, it is not clean, just picked up. Smells terrible, cigarette smoke. Took a walk to a coffee shop so I could skype with Andy. I came back and tried Andy's trick we learned from Frank. It worked, I have internet.

Today I miss my husband. Today I wish I had someone with me.

As I am here, will you pray for protection? I know this was not a big deal, but when you are on your own, it can be very scary, and the tears come easily, very easily.

Pictures from Court Day

2009-12-06T01:36:00.001-08:00

When we had court, our plan was to go to the embassy that same day so that we could spend Andy's last day with Nina. However, court started late, and we had to pick up Kellsey (Frank's daughter, he was getting her out of the orphanage that day)

AS it turns out, we arrived during nap time, and well, we had to wait. They did finally wake Kellsey up and got her ready. Our facilitator then informed us that we would have to go to the embassy on Friday morning. Meaning, no seeing Nina!

Our facilitator then explained this to the orphanage and they agreed to wake her up so Andy could say good bye. She was very sleepy, and probably surprised to see us there.

Andy said his goodbye and gave her some kisses (and candy!)

Saturday

2009-12-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Andy left this morning. It feels so different. I am anxiously awaiting news that he has made it back home. Tomorrow he will finally get to see our girls. We really missed them.

I got to meet another family that is adopting through Reece's Rainbow. It was good to get out and see friends. Yes, we had never met each other before, but we are now friends. It is how it happens when you find yourself half way across the world following the same calling, waiting to get your child and bring them home.

Tomorrow they will move me to a different apartment. I am a little nervous about that. It is close to this one, but still, it would be nice to stay in the same place. One thing they assured me is that it will have better internet connection. However, it is in a much busier street and on the ground level. Pray for God's protection as I am here on my own.

And also pray for Andy and our girls as they try to recover a sense of normalcy to life and wait for Nina and I to come home.

Friday Dec 4th

2009-12-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

Today we went to the American embassy to make sure that Andy signed all the documents that we will need before Nina and I go back home. Then tomorrow early in the morning, Andy will go back to the US and get our girls while I wait here for three more weeks (hopefully that will be all!)

Just to clarify, we do not have Nina with us. Even though she is officially a Stumbo, she has to stay in the orphanage during the 10 day waiting period. After the 10 days I could go get her, or wait until all the paperwork is done before getting her out. I will probably wait, since there is a lot of waiting around and running around that would be difficult to do with Nina. As soon as we are ready to get the passport though, I will get her out of the orphanage forever!

As for the 10 day waiting period, it was obviously not waived. I think our facilitator told us that this judge has only done it 2 times. The first time she either ended up going to jail or they threatened her with jail (yes, that would keep me too from waiving the 10 days). The second time it was for a very sick child. There were special letter written from medical doctors in Ukraine, as well as petitions from medical officials here that requested for the child to be taken to the United States for urgent medical intervention and surgery. There were also letters written by US medical doctors and maybe the embassy (?) requesting for the child to come immediately. Judge did not get in trouble for that one.

Other than that, in Kyiv they will not waive the 10 days. If it is waived, they are supposed to contest the judge's decision, which makes it a 30 day waiting period. No thanks! I will wait my 10 days instead!

Yesterday was a very exciting day. Not only did Nina become a Stumbo, but our friends Frank and Renee (well, I suppose just Frank) got to take Kellsey out of the orphanage. I was fighting tears because it really was exciting and hard. The workers really care about these children, and one by one they came to say goodbye to Kellsey. They would get really close to her, forehead to forehead, and whisper to her, probably saying that they would miss her. Some had tears in their eyes, I could tell it was hard for them to see her go. At the same time, Kellsey is leaving all she has ever known. Yes, what she has now and what she will have is surpassingly greater. But for now, it will be hard. I am aware it will be hard for Nina too.

Frank will try to get on the same plane as Andy so they can fly together, hopefully it will work out.

Prayer requests

-Safe trip home for Andy!!!

-Safety and comfort for me as I stay behind

-That once the 10 days are over things move quickly and we can be home for Christmas. Right now, we are praying for December 23rd! That is 10 days to get everything we need after the 10 day wait is over!

She Is Ours!

2009-12-03T10:51:00.000-08:00

Thursday December 3rd 2009. The day we became parents for the third time.

It is official. We have a daughter, Nina Shuraeva Stumbo!

(Pictures to follow, internet connection is not working well)

She Likes Us!

2009-12-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Today we got to go see Nina again. Of course as we got there we realized that I had left the camera's memory card at home so we couldn't take any pictures!

This time I got to go see Nina's room, they let me come but not Andy. When we got there, a lady told me to come to the back. Nina lives in a large room with a HUGE wooden playpen. I think she spends most of the day in there with the other kids in her group. Behind the playpen are the cribs, and next to the playpen a table where she eats. Yes, I really do believe that she spends most of her time in this one room. However, we do know that kids go outside to play. Not sure what they do with Nina since she cannot walk.

Well Nina was sitting on a chair, spaced out, until the worker grabbed her. I think it startled her from the nothingness that was going on. She smiled at me as soon as she saw me :) The worker motioned for me to leave the room and to take off my coat. She followed me with Nina on her hip.

Andy was waiting with Frank in a room and once they handed Nina over to me, I kissed her...a lot. I think she liked it, but she was still a little "spaced out." She did smile big for Andy too when she saw him. He kissed her too but I think his beard really bothers her, I keep telling Andy he has to shave for her sake :) We tried to play with her a little, but they moved us to a different room, the doctor's office.

Frank got to go outside to play with Kellsey, and we stayed in the room with Nina...and the doctor. It made for a different visit. Nina was in her own little world today, yet, wanting all out attention. She figured out she likes us to tickle her, so she will take off crawling so we can chase her and tickle her. She really loves this game.

We did have an incident where the parrot in the doctor's office somehow got out of its cage. let me tell you, it was quite humorous as Nina wanted to go get it, the parrot was flying around, and 2 workers were trying to catch it! One of them finally did but got a good bite!

I think just like with our girls back home, there are good days, there are bad days, and there are normal days. It is part of life and parenting. Same with our visits with Nina. Today was normal, Monday had been fantastic!

Nina did not seem to want to say goodbye to Andy, we were not sure if she was just shy or if she did not understand. When I took her to the back, the doctor offered to take her. Nina looked at her and shook her head "no." The doctor asked her if she wanted her mama, Nina said yes. We took her back to the room, one of her caregivers came to get her, again Nina shook her head at them "no." They asked her if she wanted her mama, and Nina said yes. Then her favorite caretaker came, well, we still don't measure up to her because she went to her easily, but I am pretty sure the worker told her it was time to eat :)

Then they said to me that Nina talks about us. She talks about her mama and her papa with his tickle on his face. I loved it, I loved the fact that she said no to them, that she wanted us.

Soon sweet girl! Really soon! Tomorrow after court, she will officially be ours, she will be a Stumbo!

Prepare to "awwww"

2009-12-01T07:49:00.000-08:00

Here are the pictures from yesterday. Nina was happy. One of the pictures is when she was shaking the doll and the last picture is when Andy was throwing her up in the air so she could see herself in the mirror.

And enjoy the video! It is way sweet! It all started because Andy would kiss her and she did not like the feel of his beard, so I would tell her it "tickled" and then touched Andy's beard and said "tickle." So now you can see what Nina did after I showed her :)

Great Monday

2009-11-30T05:06:00.000-08:00

Today we got to see Nina again! It was wonderful!

It started with all three of us (Andy, myself, and Frank) waiting for our girls in the doctor's office, it took them a while to bring the girls to us. Kellsey walked in the room looking for her papa, knowing exactly who she was going to go see. A worker walked in carrying Nina and had her stand there. She looked unsure, but smiled at us right away. I came over to her and picked her up, she let me, right away. I then gave her a few kisses.

I took her back to the couch where Andy was, we tried to get her to sit on the couch, we are discovering what she can and cannot do physically due to her CP. She cannot sit normal, but she could sit at the edge of the couch, and Andy handed her a piece of candy, she loved that!

Andy handed her a Matrushca (those dolls that you open and there is another one inside, and another one inside, etc). Nina loved it! We would get her to shake it, and eventually when we would say "shake" she would start shaking it too, along with smiles and laughs. We played and then we realized that Nina wanted to look at herself in the mirror. Andy took this as an opportunity to hold her (we had tried before, she would not let him) Andy would pick her up to the mirror and put her down again, over and over. Nina loved it. The reality is, she has never had a daddy throw her around, she has never had a daddy to swing her, has never had a daddy to love her. It was so sweet!

We then played some more, and Nina remembered to sign "more." We were impressed! Not only that, she said it! She said "more" while she signed it! She is one smart little girl. Her first English word is "more."

Nina is really fascinated by Andy's beard, so she was shy to touch it, but if I would, then she would too. So we asked her, "does it tickle?" and what does she do? She touches Andy's beard and starts moving her fingers tickling, while she says, "tickle, tickle, tickle." Andy and I just laughed! Her second English word..."tickle." So we had to play a chasing and tickling game. Daddy would get us, we would then get daddy. And all along Nina said "more" and "tickle" (Okay, a few times, but still!)

She looked at some of our family pictures, and a few times she points at Ellie's picture and says "Nina." She can even tell the family resemblance! And once Nina's hair is long, I am sure they will look even more alike!

Nina talked to us more this time, not just whispers but ventured to say more. So we are definitely getting to know each other! For now, she loves to be tickled!

When the doctor came in, Nina wanted to go with her. It is okay, I think we are definitely bonding, and she is definitely stealing our hearts!

We still do not have internet access in our apartment. Tomorrow I will try to upload some pictures from today and a video of Nina tickling Andy, it is way too sweet!

Our girls are with our cousins. Keep them in your prayers as they have a new adjustment to make. Ellie was really excited though, she knows she will get to do a few fun crafts with Cassia and Raessa.

Sunday

2009-11-29T10:10:00.001-08:00

Today we got to go to church, it was in English!!! It was great to worship.

Other observations we have made.

-Everyone smokes. I think we heard a statistic that 95% of people here smoke. So far we agree. It is crazy to see young teenagers smoking at a restaurant. Actually, restaurant menud have a cigarette section.

-Women here wear high heel boots everyday! Crazy since their streets are cobble stone.

-Men do not have facial hair. Well, let's say Andy sticks out in the crowd with his beard and tan coat.

-Lots of drinking. Vodka is cheaper than water, so...

-Water here is different, so after washing clothes, they are like cardboard. We finally bought more softener, I might have put a little bit more. Same with my hair. Oh well, I am sure here they know what products to buy for clothes and hair :)

-There are no dryers, only washers. Everyone hangs their clothes, and thankfully, we can dry ours on the heaters.

As for Nina observations

-Her legs are pretty stiff, but she can somehow pull herself up to a stand and move along furniture. This gives us hope that a good walker and physical therapy will really help.

-She can crawl some, but instead of moving her legs one at a time, she drags both of them. She actually kneels and walks on her knees.

-She can definitely get around.

-Her feet do not touch flat on the ground, her legs are bent, and one of her legs is kind of "in." Again, surgery will really help!

-She thinks being told "no" is funny and she should do it again!

-She loves to figure out how things work, and how things fit together. We got her crayons and a coloring book. Her sisters color all day, but Nina, oh no, she wants to get the crayons out of the box, and put them back in perfectly in a row :)

-She loves bubbles, and she is getting the idea of play-doh because we have a little toy where you put play-doh in and push a lever to make it come out (how things work!)

We will hopefully go see her tomorrow, so if we do, I will post more pictures and most likely another video :)

Court Date

2009-11-28T05:28:00.000-08:00

We have a court date, it is on Thursday December 3rd at 12:30 (most of you will be sleeping!). This is where the judge will pronounce Nina to be our daughter, and she will become Nina Stumbo, what a crazy thought!

After Thursday we begin our 10 day waiting period. This is a period of time where someone could come and contest the judges decision. Nina has no family, so we are confident nobody will contest this. Of course we wish the 10 day could be waived. We have heard in this region that sometimes creates problems because then someone will contest the judge's decision. And they say it has never been granted (so how do they know it creates more problems?).

Andy flies home on Saturday, day 2 of our wait.

After the 10 days I get to go get a new birth certificate for Nina. In this certificate, Andy and I will be listed as her parents. After that, we can apply for a tax code (not sure what it is for). They say this tax code can take 5-14 days to get. It is necessary to have this to apply for her passport. Once the tax code is here, we can apply for her passport. They say it takes around 10 days.

Nina then has to have a medical examination where to determine she can fly home. Once she is in the clear, we take the results with her passport to apply for a visa. Once we have the visa, we come home!

So this is what we have left in order

-Court

-10 day waiting period

-Birth certificate

-Tax code

-Passport

-Physical

-Visa

Somewhere in there we go to the bank and give Nina's money (all orphans have some money put aside by the government) to her orphanage as a gift. I think we have to have the tax code in order to do this.

So, at this point, me being home before Christmas is looking hard. BUT, we are asking you all to pray that the Lord comes before us and that all things fall into place so we can be home before Christmas! This would be cutting it short, but it can happen. So please, pray with us!

Prayer request

-That we continue to bond with Nina

-Wisdom regarding the 10 day waiting period, to wave or not to wave

-For things to move fast!

-That we are home for Christmas

-That we are witnesses to our translator and facilitator, how sweet if they got to know Jesus!

Today's Visit

2009-11-27T04:54:00.000-08:00

Today we were able to go see Nina again. We saw her in a different room, I think this is where they play most of the time. She was shy again when she saw us, but recognized us right away as her "mama" and "papa."

She smelled pretty bad. Dirty and urine all mixed together. She was hesitant when they handed her to me, she looked at me and shoke her head "no." while pushing me away. We sat her at a little chair and she kept saying "no." Finally we pulled out some toys and she liked that.

We had our visit with our friend and his daughter, so I think that helped too. We had the girls sitting at a table and all was well as they both looked at each other's special toys from their parents. It was cute, Kellsey especially wanted to check out what Nina had making sure it wasn't hers. Nina then would kind of pull it away. Pretty typical kids!

Some lady thought she should stop by and check on us (we were meeting with NIna lone for the first time) Not a good idea! Nina wanted that lady and almost lost it. She grabbed me and was pulling up, she wanted to get down!

I picked her up but held her, she was not so convinced about it, so I sat on a table and finally she calmed down when Andy gave her our picture album. I think it helped that the lady finally walked out of the room.

She really did not want me to put her down anymore.

Another lady come back to check on us (sigh) Nina wanted to get down, it was good though because she held on to my hands and tried to walk. She does okay, her legs really are terrible, and she needs help walking, but it is amazing how well she can move.

We closed the door and Andy tried to hold her. She would not sit on his lap, she would cling to me. A reminder that as much as she likes him to play with, she has never ever had a man in her life. Kids here are scared of men.

(A little girl walked in the room, saw Andy and Frank and terror covered her face, she lost it, poor thing)

It was tough, it is such a small room and even with our toys we can only entertain for so long.

When we said goodbye she let us kiss her (okay, I kissed her a lot!) She kissed e back, but would not kiss Andy. She does find his beard pretty interesting.

She did tell everyone we are her mama and papa.

However, as soon as she saw her favorite caregiver, she wanted her and she was done with us. So we left. I came home and had to change my clothes, they smelled like urine. The orphanage here really cares for these kids, I know it is not neglect, but the reality that there are too many kids here, and not enough workers. I wish there was something else we could do. They do love Nina, there is no question about that, they love her!

Okay, I hope this does not sound negative, we really did enjoy our visit with her so much! We just cannot wait to have her with us all the time!

Thanksgiving Day

2009-11-27T04:24:00.000-08:00

We had much to be thankful for on Thanksgiving day!

Our referral allowed us to go to the orphanage and have our official meeting with Nina. Amazing what a piece of paper can do. The doctor and the workers were happy to see us and we realized how worried they really were due to the quarantine.

We were also given freedom to interact with Nina, and let me tell you, it was WONDERFUL!

She is very shy, and once she got on that little bike, there was no getting her off of it. We offered her to get down a few times and she just would shake her head "no."

Of course she had a lot of fun with her daddy, he is the funniest and the best!

She laughed so hard with him!

They also told us that Nina had been telling the workers all day that her mama was coming. Somehow she knew :)

We had a wonderful visit with her, we felt so encouraged and cannot wait for her to come home with us!

Here are some pictures and a short videos for you to enjoy!

WE HAVE IT!!!

2009-11-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

We have the referral! Oh it feels so wonderful to have it. Finally we can move on!

This morning I was reading some verses in Psalms, oh how I needed to read those! I should have read them a few days ago.

Some of the verses that really stuck out to me were:

"I trust him with all my heart"

"I will praise you forever"

"May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you"

I was challenged, as I knew that had not been me the last few days, so I wrote in my journal.

"Am I living like I trust you Lord? Am I? With all my anxiousness and worry over getting Nina's referral, am I forgetting who you are? Am I sinning against you?

I trust you with all my heart, I really do. You are my strength and my shield and you hear me. You change my sorrow and sadness and change it into dancing and happiness.

I will praise you forever. I want my words and thoughts to be pleasing to you always, today and tomorrow.

Oh Lord you are my rock and my redeemer."

And so I gave it up to God, nothing is under my control, and my anxioussness was literally making me sick. I had to give it up, I could not carry such a load any longer. What a wonderful surrender.

I counted all the blessings and miracles He has worked in our adoption process. He is in this, and He is good (wise words form John Stumbo).

It was a few minutes later that we got the phone call, we could get our referral.

How good God is, oh how good. God is in this, and God is good.

Observations

2009-11-24T02:30:00.000-08:00

1. Speaking Russian would really come in handy.

I have never been to a country where I just cannot communicate. Even in France I could understand most of what people were saying, here, not so much.

Last night we had dinner with 2 other Reece's Rainbow families. We got back after 10:00 pm and the lights in the apartment were all out, we had never been out that late, so we just assumed maybe they had a "lights out" thing. The lady that works security came after us and tried to talk to us. It is pitch black, we don't understand! So she laughs, grabs my arms and drags me out of the apartment, takes us to a staircase that is also pitch black. We cannot find any lights, so we use our cell phone to find our floor, then we get it, the power is out! No wonder the lady had a good laugh! At least we discovered we can get to our apartment other than an elevator! Power came back on as soon as we walked in.

2. Sidewalks are also street AND parking lots.

Well, this is self explanatory. And you better move out of the way when the car is driving behind you on the side walk and it is honking at you. Oh, and they actually have lines on the sidewalk for parking spaces.

3. People here prefer dark colors.

It is rare to see someone wearing bright colors. Occasionally we will see a woman wearing a red coat, and once, a bright orange one! But mainly, people here wear black or dark colors.

4. Fur is in.

Many coats have fur, even some men's coats. They look warm! And, if you are wondering, no, the midwest is colder than here.

5. It is okay to push people out of the way if you ar ein a hurry. Really, it is not rude, it is an every day happening.

6. Restaurants are places to hang out, once you walk in, you can be there and stay for as long as you want. We love it! There is no rush, no need to hurry. But, if you need anything, you have to find your server and ask! Not such a things a free refill here, you pay for it! And the glasses are not as large.

7. People here only have one child, maybe two. They are very protective of their children and they try to get the best for them in clothing, toys, etc. We have only seen one lady with two kids, mostly, it is really just one.

8. No, we have not seen anyone with any sort of a disability, child or adult. So, I wonder what it will be like being out an about with Nina, we will smile and wave (well, I will, she is too shy!)

9. Their alphabet is different! It is called "Cerilic"??? Anyway, we cannot even read signs. Andy can figure things out because he took Greek and I think it is similar, but me, I am lost!

Lastly, thank you for all the encouraging words and your prayers, it means so much to us.

No Referral

2009-11-23T06:21:00.000-08:00

No referral. They said best case scenario we get it Wednesday afternoon. Most likely we will not gt it until Thursday afternoon (after 4:00) That was the day we had hoped to have court.

We wait some more, wishing we could have gone home last Wednesday and come back when the quarantine was lifted and were given a go.

We are very discouraged, pray for us.

Call to Prayer

2009-11-23T01:31:00.000-08:00

It is 11:30 for us on Monday morning, I know most of you are sleeping.

We have received news today that the quarantine in the orphanage has been extended until Thursday and they still don't know if this will affect our referral.

To say that we are discouraged is an understatement. We have been waiting since our original SDA appointment last Wednesday for this referral. An appointment that lasted 10 minutes. Nothing has happened since then.

They say there is a possibility for us to get it today, if not, we will not get it until Thursday or Friday.

If you read this on Monday morning, PRAY, please pray that we hear good news at 3:00 pm (your 7:00 am)

We need this referral!

Lord, we are in the palm of your hands, all things are in your hands. Please, grant us the referral.

Not much to do

2009-11-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days we have had nothing to do. Due to the quarantine we cannot go visit Nina and we cannot move forward in the process. We are hoping that we get our referral on Monday because that will allow things to start moving and there would be a possibility of having court on Thursday or Friday (this would be when Nina would officially become ours).

After court, the 10 day waiting period begins where someone could appeal the court's decision. In our case, we know Nina has no family, so it will be 10 days where we cannot do anything official or have her with us, but, we can go visit her everyday.

Yesterday our facilitator had said that maybe they would extend the quarantine until Wednesday! You can imagine how discouraging the news was, however, I do not believe ths will be the case as school and other activities will start again on Monday.

We have done sight seeing and lots of walking. Our friends were here adopting (from the same orphanage) and now we have been hanging out with Frank, who has been here now for 3 weeks and knows his way around pretty well. Andy is also quickly catching on when it comes to directions, me on the other hand....

So that is all so far. Tomorrow we will try to go to an internet cafe at some point and I will try to upload some pictures. Unfortunately our internet connection here is not very good and I loose connection when I try to get photos up.

If there are any questions, feel free to ask, and I will try to answer those. We have plenty of time for that!

Prayer requests

-that we receive the referral on Monday

-that we can be given a court date soon (Thursday or Friday)

First Meeting

2009-11-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

This is a short video I took of Nina the first time we met her. This is when she was too shy to interact with us and would not make eye contact, but the camera made her smile, eventually I was ablet o get close to her and show her the video and a picture I had taken.

I know this is not much, but this is what we have of her.

Day 4

2009-11-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

Today was a long day.

It started out as a disappointing day for us. Last night we were told that we could go see Nina today, and so we went to see her along with our friend Frank, who is adopting from the same orphanage. As we walked inside, we were greeted by a shake of the head and a "No. no. no!"

We called our translator and the conversation did not sound very happy. She then talked to us and said that Andy and I had to leave and go wit in the car, and they would call us in when we could see Nina.

We walked out, disappointed, but hoping that we would still be able to see her. At least Frank had been able to stay to see his daughter. A few minutes after being in the car, we got a call from our translator, we could go in and see Nina, the orphanage director had approved. So excitedly, we walked back in. At the door we were greeted by a worker who told us she would go get Nina (well, at least we think she said that because she mentioned her name)

Franks' phone rang. We all needed to get out of there...NOW! The workers kept saying to us something, the only word we understood was "quarantine"

So we all left, not even a glance at Nina.

On the way back we connected with some missionary friends from the CMA. Some other missionaries from Russia were here getting their visas worked out and were touring the city. Frank, Andy and I joined them. We then went over to have dinner at their place and were able to meet more missionaries still :)

So that was our day, I will post some pictures and a short video of Nina tomorrow morning.

Thanks for all your prayers, I feel much better today. My throat is much better and so is my cough. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the prayers!

Prayer request

-that we get our referral letter tomorrow

SDA Appointment

2009-11-17T23:42:00.001-08:00

We just got back from our SDA appointment, the entire thing did not last more than one hour, and that is including our travel time!

We walked into a an office and met with a lady that had all our documentation in front of her. She asked for our passports and they just laid there on the table, she never looked at them. She then asked why we wanted to adopt Nina, so we told her.

She read us her file, and the medical file, the medical file was prepared by the orphanage doctor, the same doctor we saw yesterday. What she told us is different from what the lady was reading from the file. It is making us wonder if the orphanage is trying to keep information from us, afraid that we will not want Nina. If only they could understand that we are not going to change our minds, but it just does not feel right that we are being told different things.

What they said to us today is that Nina might also have a heart condition, and that she has developmental delays. Well, she is in an orphanage, of course we know there will be delays. The little we saw her yesterday was enough for us to see that she is delayed. They also said today that she has adenoid issues. So, what the doctor wrote is different that what she said yesterday. Sigh, it is a little frustrating. Andy does not care, the reality is that once we get her home we will have her seen by many doctors and specialists.

We did get her baby picture and maybe one from when she was two? We traded pictures, we got those and we gave them one that we had.

I think her arms and hands might be affected too. She can use them well, but I am wondering about that.

Also, we had put in our request for 2 children. Not really planning on 2 kids, but just in case. The orphanage does not want us to look at any other kids, they want us to just have Nina because they want her to have all the attention. So they definitely want her with a family. I wonder if they are afraid that we would change our minds if we knew of all the issues she would have. I suppose they see that often, people coming and not wanting her. But we do!

We did not get the referral. At this point they are saying not until Monday. Our facilitator was going to ask on Friday and see if they would give it to us.

Prayer requests

-for the referral

-My throat is sore and I have a cough, please pray I get better soon!

We met her!

2009-11-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

Today we actually got to go meet Nina. It was a last minute thing and we are pretty sure we were not supposed to due to the quarantine. We are here with another family, (they took pictures for us before) so we got to go with Frank to the orphanage. As we walked into a little office a little girl came running in really excited! It was actually their daughter Kellsey, she came looking for her daddy and was such a fun little girl.

It took us a while to figure out that the worker that ran in after Kellsey was holding Nina, but there she was, with her worker!

Our poor girl, they gave her another haircut...we will definitely grow out her hair.

She is SHY, not just a little shy, but really really shy. She would not make eye contact with us for a while. Eventually she would kind of look at us from the side and smile, so that was good. A few times she did look at me while she was looking at a book and I would sign "duck" to her (there was a picture of a duck in the book)

I think she definitely will need glasses. A few times she looked to be cross eyed, and almost like she could not focus well on things (or maybe she was being shy.)

Her legs are definitely affected by her CP. Even though she does have use of her hands, we do wonder if they are affected some. We will not know until we get back and she sees a doctor. They said she can talk, but we did not hear her say much. At one point I took a picture of her and showed it to her, and she did call herself Nina while pointing at the picture. She then wanted to push buttons in my camera, so she was not being so shy.

We showed her pictures of her sisters, and I am not sure what the worker was calling the girls, maybe "sister"? maybe "girl"?

They did say that Nina told them this morning that she had a dream, and that her dream was about her mom :) That is sweet!

We know more about her. She was born premature which caused her CP. She was born at 27 weeks and was in the NICU for 3 months. Mom left her at birth. She has no family that they know off, and nobody comes to visit her. Sometimes kids do have family members come once in a while, but she does not.

They said all wonderful things about Nina. We are not sure about what they say, we think they might be trying to give us the best scenario so we adopt her. Maybe they don't realize that we want her regardless of her abilities. Even when we left the doctor said that now that we had seen her, we could think about weather we wanted her or not. Well, we do! We did not come all the way here to change our minds!

Our first appointment is tomorrow. This is our official SDA. They usually give the referrals that same day, but because of the quarantine, we are not sure they will until Monday.

Prayer requests:

-That we do get her referral ASAP (they could I suppose give it to us tomorrow, once we have that we can officially continue to move forward in the adoption process)

-That our internet works (we are sitting in an office)

-Health! I am getting a cold.

Thanks

We Made It!

2009-11-17T05:54:00.001-08:00

So far we have been unsuccessful at getting internet in our apartment, so I am writing this and saving it to post later, hopefully by the time I post it I will also have more exciting things to share.

We arrived yesterday and our facilitator was waiting for us with a little card that read “Stumbo.” I waved at him as soon as I saw him, and even through the mask he was wearing I could see some confusion on his face. But we did walk to him and once we called his name he knew it definitely was us. At the car, he looked at us and said, “You two are a very young family!” So I realized that he was expecting someone older!

We had been e-mailing back and forth before we came, and I am sure he pictured us very different. We were lucky to have a picture of him ahead of time so we knew what he looked like, but, before we saw his picture, we too pictured him to be a lot different!

Driving here is a lot like in Mexico City. And I mean a lot! As a matter of fact the city reminds me of Mexico quite a bit. The problem is that in Mexico I can read the signs and I understand the language. Here, we are clueless! Not only are we clueless about the language, their alphabet is so different that we cannot even read the signs!

We got our apartment and our facilitator took us around a little bit, showed us where to go eat, where to exchange money, etc. He gave us our cell phone and took us to buy a SIM card. Just a note, if you ever travel and get a SIM card, calling the US will automatically use all your minutes in a matter of what feels like seconds! After our unsuccessful internet connection attempts, we called my mom to tell her all was well, and our card ran out right before we got to talk to Ellie!

We were of course exhausted, traveling all day and ready to sleep. But we knew that if we gave in to our natural rhythm (which was telling us to sleep now!) we would not sleep at night! Some friends that are here through Reece’s rainbow had called and invited us to go out to eat. We almost went, excited to be here, but realized, we just wanted to lay down and hang out.

After a while however, we realized we needed to venture out and find a grocery store or something like it. We had nothing in our apartment and for sure we would need something to eat or at least some water to drink. Andy’s parents have good friends right here in Kiev, and they had called offering help. Well, they came all the way to our apartment and took us out, showed us where to go shopping and gave us a few tips. It was wonderful having them with us! We said this morning how great it is to have someone here to be like our “mom and dad” because we know that if we need anything they are only a phone call or a bus stop away! They brought us back to our apartment and we tried to stay awake as long as we could.

Finally at 8:30 pm we went to bed. At 2:00 am I was wide awake, and I know so was Andy, I tried to talk to him but he insisted we try to sleep. We both eventually fell back asleep. So at 6:45 am we finally got up!

Well, how was that for a summary? LOL

We might be able to go see Nina today, we are not sure, this is a wait and see deal. For now we better start getting ready for the day, go get another SIM card and venture into the cold.

We hope to have internet access later on in the day.

Please pray for my health, pray pray pray! I have a cough and a somewhat runny nose, I would not want this to stop us from meeting our sweet girl! And pray for Andy too, so he does not get sick! Thank you all for your love and support. Until later J

The last leg of the race begins

2009-11-14T22:43:00.000-08:00

It is late, very late, we are excited, and we are ready.

Tomorrow (later today) we are flying out! I have to admit I hate flying, but I cannot wait to go see Nina and bring her home.

Please pray for us as we travel today. For most of you, we will be traveling all day Sunday and on Monday when you wake up we will hopefully be there!

Please pray for a safe and uneventful travel.

Please pray for health for us and for our girls.

We have missionary friends that will help us get settled as soon as we get there. They will take us grocery shopping and show us our neighborhood. God continues to provide for us. We are so thankful for these friends.

I will update as soon as we get there!

Reece's Rainbow

2009-11-13T13:10:00.000-08:00

This is worth watching! Andrea has done something remarkable, just one mom, with a high calling. With God going before her, beside her, and around her. It is because of her that we found our daughter.
Enjoy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Blog Going Private

2009-11-10T20:16:00.001-08:00

On Saturday our blog will go private. If you want an invite I need to have your e-mail address. If you received an e-mail from me today, you are okay, but if you did not, it means I do not have your e-mail address.

10 Days Away...and I'm Wondering

2009-11-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

I wonder...when it was 10 days before I met God and He adopted me, was HE this excited?

I wonder if His stomach did flips and He got tears in His eyes when He thought about holding me for the first time.

I wonder if His heart ached when He thought about my life without Him as my Daddy.

I wonder if it grieved Him to know that I was living as an orphan and had no hope of a future without Him.

I wonder if He was as okay with paying my ransom as I am with paying Nina's.

I wonder if, for Him, there was no cost too high, no sacrifice too great.

I wonder...

(Poem by Chris & Mary Malone and used by Reece's Rainbow families around the country.)

We know more about her!

2009-11-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

My friend Renee is adopting a little girl from the same orphanage as Nina. She is there right now and of course I begged her to get me some pictures and gave her a list of questions!

She got to see Nina today and sent us some pictures! We also know more about her now.

So far it appears like Nina's hands have not been affected by her CP. She also does not require tube feedings and is able to eat table food. She can talk and she likes dresses (just like her big sister Ellie!)

From pictures we can see that her legs are affected. She can only stand with support and when standing her feet do not "come down" and touch the ground. (Almost as if she was standing on her toes). I also don't think that regular shoes will fit her. I would say her legs look to be bent as well even when she is standing. All of these things we expected as are common with Cerebral Palsy.

By looking at her pictures we are guessing that it will be a while until she can walk on her own. She might always need special equipment like a walker or crutches. However, who knows what will happen when she starts receiving PT and when there are surgeries available to help her.

Rummage and Bake Sale Fundraiser

2009-11-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had our Rummage and Bake sale fundraiser. It went amazing!

But let me back up a little bit. Two weeks ago I was trying to figure out if we could do a rummage sale and had posted about it on facebook. After asking Andy if we could use the youth building for this, he let me know that there were no days available. I then posted on facebook that the rummage sale would not be possible.

However, my friend Dora got to thinking and called a friend who owns a building where they hold auctions and asked if we could use it for our sale. Not only did he agree, but he also said we could use it for free! The sale was on!!!

My friend Dora then suggested we also throw in a bake sale, after all, we only have so much time to raise money! So we went ahead and planned on that too!

So many people contacted us to let us know that they wanted to help. Our cousin even got crafty and sent us some pretty sweet scarves that we could sell. The news spread and many people from our community and others close to us were donating items and even time!

Our local newspaper also went the extra mile, and when I called wanting to place an add for the sale I got to share our story with the editor. Well, not only did he place an add, he ran a short story about our family and what the fundraiser was for.

Thursday we got the place ready to be set up. On Friday we spent all day (literally all day!) setting up for the sale! Amy, Kris, Darla, Dora, Gretchen and Jody helped me set up and let me tell you, we worked hard! Steve helped Andy pick up donations while Jenny watched our girls.

I cannot even name all the people that showed up to bring baked good or all the people that showed up to drop off their donations! Some of these people we did not even know, but they had heard about what we were doing and why, and they just wanted to help. Humbling, very humbling!

Yesterday was the sale day, lots of people came and they brought along their generosity. We feel so blessed. My friend Brigitte came to help us too with her many baked goods. She just adopted a little boy with Down syndrome from the same country as Nina. We have not really known each other very long, but what a dear friend she has become to me. Also, my friend Amy who I also met through our on-line boards for parents of children with Down syndrome showed up and we finally got to meet!

At the end of the day, our friends (their family) showed up to help us clean up. That was a lot easier to do! LOL

We came home exhausted, but feeling so loved, so encouraged. We really are blessed. Our rummage and bake sale was a success! All that hard work was definitely worth it!

Thank you, thank you so much for all of you who helped, all of you who made this happen. there is no way we could have ever pulled this off on our own! Thank you!

And once more, God shows us His overflowing of love through other people. We are humbled, we are grateful, and we are praising God for who He is.

Look at her!

2009-10-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

We have a few other pictures of our girl besides the picture from her button. Isn't she beautiful? We just cannot wait to meet her, just three more weeks!

I know many of you are praying for her, so I thought I would share her pictures.

Travel Date!

2009-10-26T16:52:00.001-07:00

We have a travel date. Our appointment is November 18th! Woo Hoo! Nina we are coming!

This blog will be going private in about 2 weeks so let me know if you want to be invited!

No Hope or Future

2009-10-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

There are countries in Eastern Europe where children with special needs are transferred from orphanages to institutions when the reach the age of 4. This is also the case for Nina's country. The fact that she is already 3 1/2 constantly reminds me of what her future would have been like in a few short months if we were not coming to get her.

We know that in this journey some people might think that we rushed to a decision, that we should have waited to have the money before committing to adopt a child. After you watch this video, you will understand, we cannot wait, we had to act. Money is such an insignificant part of the equation when it comes to saving a child. Yes, I won't lie, it is the most stressful part, but we have no reservations of taking a loan regardless of interest.

I hope after you watch this video your hearts are touched. Reeces Rainbow seeks to save as many of these children as possible. You can donate towards this children, or allow the reality of their fates to move you into action.

If your kids are with you at the computer, do not let them watch this, it is very real. But I believe people need to know, the world needs to know. We can do something about this!

The good news is that this institution has now had some help after being in the spotlight, so change can happen. Yet, many children still face places similar to these.

Encouragement

2009-10-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

And right when we feel low, God shows up and smiles at us through other people.

This is a journey of faith, and all in all it has been a sweet ride. We have seen God work and we have experienced His love in very special and meaningful ways.

Adoption: A Journey of Faith

2009-10-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

“God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” Francis Chan

I recently came across this quote, as I read it, the tears started to flow, this is where we are at, this is our life.

Andy and I have really been battling discouragement the last couple of weeks. Adoption is an emotional roller coaster. We find ourselves in a situation where we will be in trouble if God does not come through, and while we wait, it is hard not to start questioning the outcome.

I sat across the desk from our County Assessor dealing with adoption documents and couldn't stop crying. Not only was it embarrassing, but it made me look inside and realize I had to deal with all the feelings inside of me. It was later that day that I first read the quote from Francis Chan. God was sending me a message.

When we decided to commit to adopt Nina, we knew from the beginning that this would be a journey of Faith. The eyes of the world might look at us and think that we are crazy. The sacrifices are many, and the timing might seem wrong. But this is what Faith means, this is what stepping out in obedience looks like. We will not question, but we will obey.

I would lie if I said that we don’t have questions, because we do.

“Can we really do this financially?”

“Am I willing to be gone from my girls for seven weeks?”

“Will it be a lonely Christmas with only Nina and myself?”

“Will Andy be okay playing “single parent” for a month?”

“Will our girls cope okay when we are both gone?”

“Will Nina fit into our family?”

“Will Ellie feel resentful having two sisters with Special Needs?”

“How will I handle being on my own in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language for so long.”

“Are we alone in this?”

Please know, many of these thoughts are not from God, we know that, but when emotions are raw, it is easy to entertain those thoughts and take comments or conversations negatively, even though they never were. It is more of a reflection of our lack of trust as we are so close to the goal, and so much in this process is out of our hands. As a matter of fact, it is because we are so close that our emotions run high as all the knots and bolts seem to still be scattered around us and we are not sure where they fit yet.

We knew from the beginning that there would be sacrifices, and we accepted them. We took our cue from Jesus and His sacrifice for us. He adopted us into His family, we are His beloved children and there was no price or time constrictions that would stop Him from getting us. And so we will do the same, trusting that He will provide.

Where God leads, He provides, and so we trust. This is our journey of Faith.

Dossier Submitted!

2009-10-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Our dossier was submitted today. Now we wait on our travel date! This is so exciting! We really are getting closer!

It Arrived!

2009-10-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

Our dossier has arrived and our facilitator has it!

Now it just needs to be submitted and once they approve it we will get our travel date! If all goes well we will have our travel date sometime in November!

Financially we can use all the help we can get! Remember that donations through Reece's Rainbow are tax deductible and we are praying for $16,000 by the end of October!

Dossier in Paris!

2009-10-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well our dossier is in Paris, keeps getting closer. I don't think I ever cared so much about our mail before! LOL

We keep getting closer.

The Starfish Story

2009-10-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”I made a difference for that one."

Original Story by: Loren Eisley

Our dossier is on its way!

2009-10-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Our dossier is safely tucked into a FedEx box and on it's way!

This is our official documentation, and once our facilitator receives it and has it translated he can submit it to the SDA office.

Once the officials review our documentation they will give us a travel date.

Once we have a travel date we go get our girl!

We are so excited!

Now we wait wait wait.

Keep us in your prayers during this time :)

Prayer Request

2009-10-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

Will you pray with us that we receive our Immigration approval soon?

We re not sure what is holding our fingerprint approval, and this is the only thing keeping us from submitting our dossier. We had hoped to send our dossier a week ago, we keep waiting...

Please pray.

Fingerprints done!

2009-09-23T20:21:00.001-07:00

Today we went to have our fingerprints done. Once we are cleared we will be given approval from INS to adopt.

This is the last document we need to send in our dossier!

A dossier is basically the required documents that we have to send to Ukraine in order for them to approve us for adoption...then we can go get Nina once we are given an appointment and travel date!

So time is ticking, we are praying we can send our dossier early next week. I am not sure how much time we will have until then, but for sure we have to get moving on the fundraising arena :)

So...anytime someone clicks on Nina's picture it will take them to a site where donations towards our adoption are tax deductible (hint, hint) :)

We are on our way Nina! We are on our way!

An Orphan's Prayer

2009-09-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

I am waiting…somewhere far…far away
on the other side of the world.
I may not know who you are or what you look like
But some how deep in my heart I know you are out there.
That one day you will come and find me.
It’s a long journey, and it takes a lot of time…
I wish it could be easier.
But I know that the ones who come for me
will not count the cost.
They will only see the joy of finding me.
For now I abide in the fields of the fatherless.
Day by day wondering why I was born here
and not somewhere else?
Asking…why my life couldn’t have been different?
It is so lonely…Even though I am surrounded by
hundreds of other children,
I know that something is missing…
I know in my heart I need a place to call home.
My arms long to be wrapped in a father’s embrace…
I long to be saved by a mother’s love…
Gazing out the orphanage window I offer a
prayer of hope,“Oh God please help them
come quickly.”
Even as I lay in the darkness of each night
somehow I feel assured,
That no matter how lost I appear I am not alone.
Holy hands guard my steps; sacred fingers wipe
my tears, touching my lonely heart.
The one who made me,
The God that knew me before I was born
Hears me every time I call
He whispers His promises in my ear.
I listen with hope to His voice.
But what I worry about most is that no one wants to look for me.
The fields are vast and there are so many scattered all over the earth.
I wonder how one little child, so lost, can be found?
Yet He calms my heart and assures me that He will find you.
That He will make sure that you hear His voice clearly.
He has promised me that He will make a way through the fields,
That He will personally cut a path and lead you right to my orphanage door.
My prayer is…When He speaks…Please don’t forget to listen…
When He calls don’t be too afraid to go
For I am waiting…somewhere, far…far…away
On the other side of the world
To come Home

Buy Gifts 2!

2009-09-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

Gifts 2 is finally out! I just received my copy and I am loving it!

Since I am one of the contrinutors, I am able to sell the book and this will help us with our

adoption. If you are thinking about buying the book, and want to help us bring Nina home, you can buy the book from me.

The cost of the book is $19.95

Shipping is $4.95

Total is $ 24.90

If you are interested, click on the contact me button and send me an e-mail letting me know you want the book!

Buy Gifts 2!

2009-09-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I posted about the release of Gifts 2 on our home page.

I just received my copy yesterday and I absolutely love it!

AS some of you know, I am one of the contributors of Gifts 2: How People with Down Syndrome Enrich the World.

If you would like to buy the book, let me know, if you buy the book from me, it will help towards our adoption, we are doing this as a fundraiser, but you do have to buy it from me! So click on the Contact Me link if you are interested!

I want her home...

2009-09-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

Today Andy spent some time researching Eastern Europe and their orphanages. The more we learn, the more we want to bring Nina home.

My heart breaks for all the orphans, but right now, my heart aches to hold Nina close.

I want to embrace and protect her from the world, I want her to know that she has a mommy and daddy that deeply love her and will do whatever it takes to bring her home.

I want her to know that she is special, and that her life has great meaning and great value. I want her to know that she belongs to God, that she is a daughter of the King.

I want her home.

Caribbean Dinner Party-Adoption Fundraiser

2009-09-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Last night, Andy and I attended a fundraiser for Nina's adoption. It was wonderful to see close friends, family, and even meet new people that were there to support us!

One of the greatest enemies of adoption is money. Many people wish they could adopt, but finances hold them back. No matter how you look at it, adoption is expensive! Where in the world will money come from?

When we decided to adopt Nina, we knew that God would have to provide, because we definitely do not have the money! We knew in our hearts that God was calling us to adopt, so we stepped out in obedience and trusting completely. We were and are prepared to get a bank loan so that we can bring Nina home. After all, how much is a life worth?

As soon as we committed to adopt Nina, God smiled and began to work, showing us that He indeed does provide, and that along the way, He would bless us and cover us with love...through other people.

My friend Marian asked if her and her husband could do a fundraiser for us...a Caribbean Dinner Party. She took care of it all, invited people, made a delicious meal, and had wonderful entertainment. All Andy and I had to do was show up.

Andy and I got to share our journey and our hearts, towards adoption and towards children with special needs. This was a very meaningful time for us, as we felt that just sharing our story, is part of our obedience to God. It was sweet to be able to tell people about where God has been taking us in the last few years.

Being a holiday weekend, not very many people were able to attend, however, their hearts of love and support towards our family were big, and we know that God continues to open the doors for us and continues to provide. Marian shared with me this morning that she had set a goal based on 60 people, and only 30 were able to come. Her goal was not only reached, it went above and beyond!

All the praise goes to God! He is walking with us every step of the way. I sometimes question if we will ever be able to make it, yet, He is God, and everything belongs to Him...money too. So He chooses to provide for us through other people...because He knows that along the way, many will be touched, many hearts will be open, maybe to Him, maybe towards adoption, or maybe towards people with special needs. We just trust and obey, and He takes care of the rest.

Thank you Lord!

The Beginning of Our Adoption Journey

2009-09-03T18:46:00.001-07:00

When Nichole was a baby, I found a forum for parents of children with Down syndrome (downsyn.) It was a wonderful place for me to ask questions, be honest about my feelings, and also to receive support during the hard days of dealing with a new diagnosis.

What caught my attention was that several of these parents were in the process of adopting…another child with Down syndrome or with special needs. At the time, it blew my mind that these people were willingly choosing another child with a disability, it made no sense.

It did not take long for me to understand what these parents already knew. Having a child with Down syndrome had turned out to be better than good. Our lives had been transformed in such profound and positive ways that the thought of another child with Down syndrome was received with open arms. That, and the fact that many children with Down syndrome are not wanted and live their lives in Institutions until they die. They have no mommy or daddy to love them, to comfort them, or to cry for them when they die. It is heartbreaking. When you have been touched by someone with special needs, you cannot help but want to do something about this, to love on these children and bring them home.

For a long time I wondered when it would be us. I found myself looking at the little faces of precious children on Reece’s Rainbowand couldn’t help but fall in love with some of these kids. I would choose a child and pray and pray that they would find a family. Both kids I have prayed for have found a forever family.

If anything, I would encourage you to do the same. Visit Reece’s Rainbow and pray for one of these children!

On November 13, 2008 I wrote in my journal

“Lord, my heart aches. It aches for all the children in the world that do not have families to call their own. I look at all the little faces on Reece’s Rainbow and I cannot help but cry. These babies were not wanted because they are “less than perfect.”…I think about Nichole…you entrusted her to us, and I am thankful. I love her so much, you knitted her together in my womb and you do not make mistakes…Lord I pray that someday we are blessed by adopting one of these children…I am excited by what is to come. Our family will be richly blessed simply because we know you. If everything was stripped away, we still have you…Do in me as you please…I am fully and completely yours.”

Well…that day has come.

We are adopting!!!

Our daughter’s sweet face is on the right column of this blog, and we want to bring her home!

A few weeks ago Andy and I were looking at the orphans from Reece’s Rainbow. We always assumed that we would adopt another child with Down syndrome, but her face stole our hearts. She just looks like a Stumbo! Our sweet daughter has Cerebral Palsy, and she needs a loving family that will work with her and provide her with the help that she needs J Isn’t she sweet!

So here we are… we find ourselves allowing God to guide us and take us through this journey. We are trusting Him completely because by this world’s standards it makes no sense at all! We surely do not have the money, but we are trusting that God will provide, any way He chooses to do so, even if it is through a loan (people do this all the time to buy cars---was Andy’s cousin comment, so true!)

Pray for us as we embark on this new adventure. Pray for Nina. Pray for our family as well.

Life sure is exciting!